Elisa Braden, $4.99, ISBN 978-1370061228
Historical Romance, 2016
James Kilbrenner, all of 16, was confident that he would get married when he learns that he is the new Earl of Tannebrook, by virtue of the fact that anyone else that can inherit the title is dead. He tearfully tells Alison to wait for him, as he will come back to make an honest woman out of her once things are settled, only to learn that she married someone else a month after he left. When a Girl Loves an Earl, but sadly she can’t marry him, oh dear.
This was because she was with child. Not that it matters in the end, sadly, because the baby never made it.
See, kids, this is why you don’t have premarital sex, or at least take precautions to avoid having a baby, when you know that pregnancy is going to make a big mess out of everyone’s lives! This is also why you don’t leave the girlfriend behind, the one you claim to love forever and ever, and make her promise to wait when you don’t even know when you will be back. You’re the earl, so just take her along with you!
I digress. Why does this back story matter? Our heroine Viola Davis (no, not that Viola—this ain’t the Bridgerton show) is determined to throw herself onto Tannebrook, not caring whether she’d be ruined in the process because she knows from the start that she and he are meant to be.
“I just knew, James. I knew you belonged to me. And that I belonged to you. From the first moment I saw your splendid face.”
Well, the back story matters because after she’s gotten her wish and is bandy-shagged ten thousand ways, she realizes that her husband loved another woman, so oh, she must now set him free.
Yes, the first two-thirds of this story is focused on this creepy single-minded stalker of a dong-hungry dingbat risking everything to get herself married to some guy she doesn’t even know anything about, only to then want to fling herself to the other extreme and melodramatically play the martyr—all formulated from opening credits to closing ones without even talking to the guy.
Oh, Elisa Braden’s narrative is fine, but the reader’s reaction to this story, I suspect, will be very dependent on how much they can cozy up to the ghastly immaturity of the heroine. If the heroine had done what she does here to a scoundrel, she’d be pregnant, ruined, abandoned, and who knows what she would do after that. She’s very lucky that she just happens to be pulling this stunt on the hero, or else this one would be a tragedy of hormone-driven stupidity instead of a romance.
Is this even a romance, though? I never get this impression that Viola has matured or grown up in any way to develop the capacity to love. She comes off as infatuated and dong-hungry, and she also doesn’t display any maturity when it comes to managing the problems in her life.
Tannebrook doesn’t come off as particularly deep or mature either, and I’d have assumed he’d be more circumspect instead of sticking it into another woman out of wedlock once again, but he’s sage and wise in comparison when he’s paired off with Viola.
So, will you love When a Girl Loves an Earl? That will depend on how high your tolerance threshold is for antics of brutally reckless stupidity. Read this if you know yourself… or just want to test yourself. Just don’t hold me accountable for anything unpleasant that occurs when you do that!
