M Pax, $0.99, ISBN 978-1465767523
Paranormal Romance, 2009

Nora Elliott joins dashing explorer Mitchell Allen and his entourage in the man’s search for his missing brother. Their quest leads them to a mysterious tomb.

The good news is: they find the brother.

The bad news are: one, they are all trapped in the tomb, and two, all the exciting parts like the search for the tomb took place before this story even begins.

So yes, they are trapped, but Nora is with them because she can translate the runes of the tomb—runes that may get them out of the tomb. Will Nora succeed? Will she finally win the love of Mitchell?

Translations may be a boring title at first glance, but it is an integral component of the story, so there’s that.

Unfortunately, this story feels like the last ten minutes of an epic adventure movie instead of the entire movie. Of course Nora succeeds, and for that, Mitchell professes his love for her.

Honey, I’d profess my love for a baboon if it could get me out of a tomb; that doesn’t mean I’m going to marry that simian. Hence, the “romance” here seems like a prelude to an adrenaline-charged post-danger shag than a convincing love of a lifetime.

If the author would expand this thing into a full-fledged romantic adventure caper, I’d definitely be interested to have a look at it. In its current form, though, it doesn’t matter. The story doesn’t matter.