Main cast: Stephen Ouimette (Chuck), John Stocker (Melvin), Karen Bernstein (Sleeping Beauty), and John Kassir (The Crypt Keeper)
Director: Laura Shepherd

In The Sleeping Beauty, the Crypt Keeper regales the twisted version of the popular fairy tale, because this hasn’t been done before, oh no.

So, we have the usual princess in a coma that can only be awakened by a kiss, in a castle surrounded by a deadly forest of thorns, et cetera. Nothing new there. Then comes Prince Chuck, sorry, Charming. Or, since he’d like to be seen as French, Chalmant if you please. Spoiler: he’s really vain and self-absorbed.

Our lovely prince drags his younger twin Melvin, whom he bullies mercilessly, to this place, hoping to awaken the Sleeping Beauty so that he can marry her and get his hands on all her wealth. Oh, will he succeed in his noble quest?

There is some lovely alliteration here, such as when Chuck calls Melvin a “silly, sissified, shrimp-sized schling”—hilarious and certainly not kosher in the present day climate of political correctness. It also can be amusingly self aware, such as when Melvin grumbles whether the Princess’s “sleeping sickness” can be contagious.

However, this episode can also be a pretty discombobulating one, as it has Melvin constantly enabling Chuck. He lets himself be bullied non-stop, even risking his life repeatedly for his brother that clearly doesn’t give a damn about him. Sure, in the end he is rewarded with a girlfriend that isn’t even hot (talk about a participation trophy), but that only comes after enduring his brother’s cruel treatment of him and letting that brother continuously mistreat him. Not exactly an inspirational message to tell the kiddies, is this?

This episode is also full of fillers. The bulk of the episode is just Melvin screaming and shrieking as he bumbles from one peril to another, and my god, I can so tired of hearing him screaming his brother’s name after a while. I’m not sure what is it about this show, but it seems like it’s compulsory for the main character to be screaming another character’s name throughout nearly the entire episode in the most grating manner possible.

All in all, this is another annoying episode of nails-on-chalkboard voice and long drawn slapstick bumbling antics from the main character. Maybe I’m just too old to appreciate basic kiddie cartoons anymore, but I’m going to add this one to the increasing list of reasons why the Crypt Keeper is just not working as a small screen Ronald McDonald.