Avon, $5.99, ISBN 0-380-81540-0
Historical Romance, 2001

Poor The Fraser Bride. I had just finished Judith Ivory’s The Indiscretion just before I picked this one up. Suffice to say, a hero who stupidly equates beauty to evil in women (“He had learned that a lovely face oft hid an evil heart”) and a heroine who is a stereotypical one note bimbo-in-distress suffer a lot compared to Judith Ivory’s characters. Bye, bye those two. There’s no mercy in my evil heart for mediocrity, and mediocrity is what those two are.

Ramsay MacGowan is the woman-hating doofus in question. Apparently beautiful women, not happy and demure with his mighty Laird Staff, had cheated and abused his poor fragile heart so badly that he now has one use for them only. As opposed to he having one use for them only in the past, I suppose. He and his two equally doofy brothers (whose books are coming soon, naturally) are returning from a wild-goose chase of some enemy clan members (see what I mean about doofuses – not one of them saw the enemy, but they went chasing nonetheless) when they stumble upon Anora, our heroine in distress.

She’s beautiful. Immediately Ramsay is at full alert – not only in that way but also in immediately suspecting her to be a liar, bitch, whore, et cetera. What a guy. Wonder what he thinks of his mother… uhm, wait. Is it too late for me to retract that question? Never mind. Someone spare me from simpleton heroes.

Anora tells the Doofy Clan that she is in danger, and begs Ramsay into escorting her home. She has a big secret she just can’t tell him of course, and she soon tells everyone that Ramsay is her lover. A lying – and incompetent – bimbo and a woman-hating-they’re-all-lying-bitches hero together… can you see what this story is heading towards?

It could be a decent if ineptly written Highland romance, I suppose. But whatever excuses one can come up for The Fraser Bride‘s ineptness, I still think this book is bland and average.