Samhain Publishing, $2.50, ISBN 978-1-61923-488-8
Sci-fi Erotica, 2016
Oops, Earth is gone. In the far future, the remaining humans colonize wherever they can, and they need fertile women to bear brats and continue the species. These women are called “seedbearers”. I know! Maybe the surviving humans managed to avoid death and worse because they were in their basement playing Magic the Gathering games? I can’t think of any explanation for “seedbearer”.
Anyway, the folks at Titan want to colonize Pluto I because their current home is bombarded by radiation and asteroid collisions, all of which take a toll on the sperm count of the dudes there. Dr Darla Wynter is chosen to be the first intergalactic seedbearer – I really don’t want to use that word, do I have to? – to Pluto I, and she has to choose between two blokes, Marcus Olsen and Brad Hunter, to be her… seed provider, I’d presume.
Let’s meet Marcus.
Marcus moved like a dancer as he slashed his ancient fire-swords against the fighterbot. The tight trousers he wore concealed little and she felt her temperature rise a notch as her eyes caught the heavy bulge in front. Fighting obviously aroused him.
Wait, if sperm is so precious, why is he wearing tight pants?
He’s the “Lady, my penis is going to be very friendly with you, so I don’t need gentlemanly manners!” dude who does the whole action thing.
Meet Brad. He’s the scientist, so… surprise! He’s the bottom. Yes, he’s also shagging Marcus, although since he has no ovaries, I guess that rules him out as a seedbearer. Hey, since these people can build space stations and all, how come they don’t do some science magic to have some of the guys built with child-bearing parts?
“Hell, it’s starting to burn…I’m gonna come!” Brad cried.
Ouch, either sex in the future has turned into something else, or maybe these people have run out of medications for anal fissure problems.
He cried out as he erupted. His last conscious thought was of Darla and Brad.
Sex is really serious business!
There is some slight drama about which man she has to choose to take along with her to Pluto I, but if you think that one guy is going to be left behind, you must be really new to the whole erotic romance thing. This one plays out predictably, so the main issue here is whether the sex is hot enough to make it worth a look. Well… I suppose if you like over the top laughable sex scenes where everything is burning and erupting and more, along with cheesy phraseology like “seedbearer” everywhere in this mercifully brief story, The Alternate may be worth a look. I suppose it has some quaint charm in embodying the corny pulp fiction feel of sci-fi back in the really old days… no, not really, this one is just hilarious for all the wrong reasons.
