Main cast: Lisa Rinna (Sheila Klein), Laura Kariuki (Vivian Lee Finch), Rob Yang (Dr Thaddeus Lau), and Hazel Graye (Heather Billings)
Director: Alexis Martin Woodall
Tapeworm rather cleverly mentions early on that it takes place in the “not so distant past”, which will allow the episode to pretend that the modeling world hasn’t been overrun by heavily tattooed beached whales and various radioactive mutant-looking people shoved onto the catwalk like a freak show because these fashion houses really want that ESG money.
Hence, it’s still the good old days when one needs to resemble a twig to be a top model, something that vivacious and optimistic Vivian Lee Finch quickly learns when she auditions at Sheila Klein’s posh agency. Sheila claims that she has every inch of star power that the agency is looking for, but alas: “You’re too fat!”
Fortunately, she befriends Heather Billings while they were both waiting in line at the audition, and Heather recommends a Dr Lau that has a surefire way to help Vivian lose weight much faster and more effectively than the boring old methods of dieting and exercising.
Okay, so the clinic is located in some back alley, but the interior looks nice, so there’s nothing to be suspicious of, right?
The doctor prescribes a semaglutide that is definitely not Ozempic, not at all, and in a few weeks, Vivian is signed up by Sheila and all is looking up…
… Until she blacks out during a photoshoot and Dr Lau learns that she has a heart condition that she never informed him of earlier. Okay, that means no more Mondify magic pens, much to Vivian’s horror. She needs the magic weight loss pen! She wants to show all the little girls with scoliosis out there that they too can be a model!
Moved by this, Dr Lau offers an alternative: a mysterious, pulsing egg that, when swallowed… wait, what’s the title of this episode again?
Vivian needs to follow to the letter Dr Lau’s exhaustive list of instructions so that she won’t get too many, er, side effects. However, if she does that, we don’t need this episode, do we?
Sigh, if I were someone vetting the script of this show and I see this one, I would have either junked it or asked for a complete overhaul.
At the age of social media, there’s no need to be a supermodel to show off one’s rear end to the world. All one needs is some nice camera or phone, lots of filters, and a social media account. Hence, there’s no need for Vivian to go through all this mess. Just start a social media account!
That aside, the story is nothing new as it’s just Hollywood lecturing us fat, ugly people to stay in our place, as trying to be as hot as them can lead to horrifying circumstances.
They even avoid taking advantage of the body horror premise, with the poster art for this episode being a complete lie. So what is there to enjoy here?
Well, the actor playing Vivian puts on a good performance. She is expressive and she injects far more depths into her character than the script called for.
Lisa Rinna, however, is awful. She is grating to watch and listen to as she delivers her lines in a manner that is just loud and histrionic, devoid of any discernible human emotion. Then again, is this even surprising?
Anyway, this episode is at least 20 years outdated, and it fails to do anything memorable with the premise to make up for how everything about it boils down to the pathetic flailing of the out of touch, sad boomers behind this show.
