Cold Coffee Press, $0.99, ISBN 979-8215400067
Contemporary Erotica, 2022

Wait, so the gyno in Hannah Altagracia’s My New Gyno isn’t short for gynecomastia? The guy on the cover has suspiciously pendulous manboobs though, hmm.

Anyway, the new gyno is Dr Adam, or Dr Allen at one odd point in the first page, and our heroine Miss Santiago is thrilled that Dr Adam is touching her breasts and all in such a sexy way. Oh, her boyfriend Jake is in the room but it’s okay, he likes it when his girlfriend lets him watch her sexy times with her boyfriends.

“Good. Valentina, can you get my suctions?”

“They are a way for maintenance,” she said.

“Hm, Miss Santiago, can I use my mouth to apply a bit more pressure? Normally I have a machine for this, but it’s temporarily out of order.”

Wait, what?

“Yes,” I moaned. His thumb moved rapidly back and forth, and within minutes, I felt a pool of cum squirt between my legs. I gasped and moaned. The doctor and nurse were seemingly very impressed with me.

“Well done,” Dr. Adam said, “And thank you for such a delicious show.” The doctor licked his fingers clean of my cum, and the nurse leaned over for a smell.

Okay, this is really becoming ridiculous.

Worst of all, the good doctor isn’t wearing a condom when he just sprays it all in. Imagine the tragicomedy that is going to a gynecologist just to get knocked up.

Anyway, this is a silly sex fantasy that I feel to be absurd, so that’s one strike against the story.

Furthermore, the sex is very IKEA manual-like, as I’m told what they are doing, but I don’t know what is going on in the protagonist’s head. Why is she allowing this to happen?

I am given instead very cursory details like he’s hot and she’s coming and that’s it, everyone’s done and going home happy now.

This is indeed the epitome of the wham-bang-done three second wonder, and I find myself wondering what the fuss is all about.