Anna Wineheart, $0.99
Fantasy Erotica, 2021
So Anna Wineheart’s Knotted by the Wolf… wait, what? How did this thing end up on my hard drive again? Great, now people will think that I am some kind of peverted zoophile furry.
Sean Zebos can’t believe that someone with a name like Ethan Klaws is a werewolf. I know, I can’t believe it either. Ethan can’t work overtime, which we all know is because it is howling and hairy season that night, but Sean doesn’t know that. He thinks Ethan is ill, so like any person with no sense of boundaries, he insists on following Ethan to his place, where Mr Klaws becomes a wolf and sticks it to him good. It’s love, of course.
This one has me thinking. Okay, when a werewolf man becomes a wolf, does anyone think the physiology of his pee-pee changes too? Looks like it does here, with the two guys stuck arse to pee-pee because Ethan’s werewolf peen does a knot thing like doggies and wolves do, and I’m sorry, I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all. What, I’m supposed to find that scene sexy? Hold on, let me put on a Barney the Purple Dinosaur suit and read that scene again. No, still absurd. I’m such a failure as a furry, but come on, doggies are for cuddling and hugging, not shagging.
On top of that, the story is written is a way that, I suspect, is meant to be amusing and ironic, but just comes off instead of low effort. I’ve said before, pointing out the silliness in one’s story alone does not absolve the absurd aspects of the story. The author will need to do more, like making the characters’ self-awareness a more integral component of the story. A guy saying this is dumb only to then do dumb things anyway… that doesn’t cut it.
To be fair, I may be the wrong kind of audience for this story. There may be crowds of people that find this story super erotic. Maybe the litmus test will be whether one finds the sight of two dogs humping on a pavement to be erotic or not. If yes, who knows, maybe they will be bowled over by this story and howl for more. As for me, Knotted by the Wolf is a big not of a yarn.
