Avon, $5.99, ISBN 0-380-81567-2
Historical Romance, 2001

Hmmm, Maureen McKade must be having a bad hair day when she cranked out His Unexpected Wife. Her track record with me is so far above average, but this one will definitely be listed as one of the boo-boos. The heroine is just plain annoying, and the plot seems to hinge around her immaturity.

Girly love and even more girly lies flare when Annie Trevelyan, whom was last seen in Mail-Order Bride, grows up and reunites with the unofficially adopted family member Colin McBride. Colin decides to visit his old friends after years away working for the railroad.

He is attracted to this Annie with breasties, but you know, he’s nice. He doesn’t want to snog a woman he last remembered as a four year-old. Wait, he does want to. Whatever.

He also decides to escort her to a finishing school somewhere in San Francisco, but missy here has her own plans. See, she wants to be an actress. Mom and Pop don’t approve, but she will show them! Hmmph!

Most of the time Annie and Colin are bickering like petulant brats. Or she is stomping her foot and pouting. Mind you, she does have a point when she says that she wants a husband well-versed in the arts. Hey, a lady can always use more refinement in her men. Alas, Colin, the under-educated but noble Irishman, is soon making statements that are pure anti-intellectualism, like how you should judge a man by how he swings his ax or something. Hey, Colin, I don’t see you marrying a pig farmer’s daughter. Hypocrite.

If they’re not bickering, they are batting eyes like teenagers in love. How reassuring. It’s like listening to radio love dedication shows where 13-year olds swear undying love to some guy they see at the bus stop. Uh-huh, true love, yeah, put a gun to my head and pull the trigger, somebody.

Anyway, I really cannot fully enjoy this story, because I am too busy gritting my teeth in irritation. Maybe younger readers still not yet weaned on YM and Seventeen will adore this one, I don’t know.