Brooke Ridge Press, $2.99, ISBN 978-0463060902
Historical Romance, 2020

Lady Constantine Hartley is such a failure as a lady of Polite Society. Sure, she’s hot, she’s invited to all the cool parties, she can afford to wear top-tier fashionable gowns at these parties, and she has men enraptured by her oh-so-spontaneous cutting wit that is often delivered with that cute flick of her chin, but oh no, she doesn’t fit in at all because she knows deep inside that she isn’t elegant like other ladies. She’s not having a good time at these parties at all. She’s only here to appease her aunt, people.

Romance heroines: living that pick me girl realness, with a heavy dose of “I’m really not like other girls—really!” faux-humility, long before social media was ever invented.

Our hero Seth Mowbray, Marquess Gulliver,  is also a fellow outcast from Polite Society. Oh yes, he’s hot, other members of the Ton accept him just fine, he is also wealthy, but really, he’s a pariah because he is still single and will rather shag improper ladies than do that going to balls and kissing respectable ladies’ gloved hands.

Hence, when these two Society black sheep meet and feel an instant attraction to one another, Constantine is gripped by despair because she knows that she will never be a good wife to Gulliver. Yes, yes, she is beautiful, sexy, et cetera, but people, remember, she doesn’t know proper deportment despite having all the opportunities to learn them all by her age, and hence, she will surely embarrass him by doing various faux pas in public! Cute faux pas, of course, because the author will like everyone to know how much Constantine is adorable and not like other girls, but still, oh no.

I’m sorry, but did the definite of “societal outcasts” change while I wasn’t looking? His Perfect Hellion asks me, “Can two societal outcasts overcome the odds and capture true love?” so I plonk down $2.99 to discover the answer, only to get this story.

Because Amanda Mariel’s definition of that phrase seems to be “superior specimens of the master race”, this story devolves into perfect people finding small, stupid reasons to protest that they aren’t worthy of the other person’s love. Any faux pas Constantine does only accentuates her awesomeness, and the entire story bends over to cast her in this splendorous yet faux-fragile light just so that she can come off as even better than everyone else. As for Seth, he’s a standard rich and hot bloke being presented as somehow an outcast despite carrying himself and acting like every other freaking romance hero in similar setting.

Is the author trying to gaslight me or something?

This story is otherwise an easy read, but I’m docking one oogie off because I am still sore over paying for a story that is completely unlike what it is advertised to be. Seriously, if the author claimed to have written a story about outcasts, it’s only decent to actually deliver a story with genuine outcasts. That’s just basic courtesy, right? A part of me will always have buyer’s remorse and I’d be very wary about paying for the author’s stories from now on.