Deep Desires Press, $2.99
Fantasy Erotica, 2019
I have to look a naughty romp that has a protagonist called Nape MacGuffin. He’s a human in the College of United Monsters – really now, the author could have used “Unbridled” or “Unchaste” instead of “United” to retain the acronym and improve the descriptive accuracy of that place – and he is the target of all kinds of pranks and hassles because his class, Historical Pottery Study, is the rival to the Automobile Theory & Repair class, and they are supposed to antagonize and harass one another to get good scores in Unnecessary Conflict. Don’t ask. If you have to, you are clearly new to this series of absurdist, camp series purporting to be monster erotica.
I say “purporting” because Gorgon in 69 Seconds is far more of a raunchy farce than erotica. That’s how CB Archer had been operating since day of this series, however, so adjust your expectations accordingly.
Nape’s day starts out with a splash – a literal one, sadly, on his clothes – and it gets worse when he overs Professor Red Herrin (don’t ask) plotting to bomb the Automatic Theory & Repair class. Sure, this will give Nape and his classmates good grades in Unnecessary Conflict, but still, bombing the rivals to smithereens seems rather excessive. Also, what if they were given rivals that turn out to be worse than the current car-mad bozos?
His efforts to warn his rivals, predictably, don’t go as planned.
Finally, there was the silhouette of his dreams. The mysterious kissing figure that was coming into focus now. The striking figure of bad boy … oh, sweet Athena, no, not him! The
only student from the Automobile Theory & Repair program that Nape personally knew. It was the snake-haired gorgon himself…“Sthenny Boomslang!” Nape finished for the narration.
“At your service, kid,” Sthenny replied with a grin on his face so cocky that he could have been sued for copyright infringement.
“I’m not a kid!” Nape spat back. “I’m two months older than you!”
Sigh. I am never going to overlook that name, I tell you. Sthenny. Has the author run out of names that will not make me want to roll up my eyes?
Oh, and did I mention that dear Sthenny has two willies and he can dislocate his jaw for maximum coverage of throbbing phallusage?
Gorgon in 69 Seconds has no shortage of absurd humor, but this time, everything feels underdeveloped. There’s no strong story line here, just madcap episodes stringed together by the flimsiest of threads. Sure, I’ve chuckled a bit here and there, but there seems to be a noticeable identity crisis taking place in this series. For something marketed as an erotica, this one is hardly erotic. The naughty scenes here are meant more to elicit laughs at Nape’s expense than to make readers go all oo-er. Throughout it all, I keep thinking of the previous story – the humor is similar, but that one also has stronger characters and a better story line. More thought and love seemed to have gone into that one, while this one comes off like a perfunctory rehash with far less effort put in. The characters are flat, and while the absurdity is escalated to the wazoo, I can’t help thinking that the author had done a far better job with the previous story.
It’s an even bigger missed opportunity when the author doesn’t capitalize on Sthenny’s quaint anatomy to come up with really campy, wacky scenes. The ones here feel shockingly mundane.
Yes, it’s an entertaining diversion, and yes, it has its moments, but on the whole, while it’s technically and structurally better than the first story, it’s a step down from the previous two stories in terms of imaginative buggery and memorable moments.
