Phaze, $2.00, ISBN 1-59426-532-1
Contemporary Erotica, 2005

Is the plural for menagé “menageries”? I have a hunch that it isn’t (or whether there is even a plural form for that word), but I may be wrong. As it is, when one of the guys tell the heroine that he is “no good at menageries”, I picture him being run over by a bunch of mad dogs and cows escaping from a barnyard and giggle for a full ten seconds.

The heroine in question, Jessica, is whiny, unlikable, selfish, and self-absorbed, but since she’s a walking cholesterol reservoir, I suppose I should be more sympathetic to Fatty McBeal here. Jessica signs up for a fat farm program, whining all the time that she has to diet, exercise, wah wah wah, until she then does the Heimlich on an army doctor Hunter Gage. Hunter then introduces her to his buddy Tim and these three then embark on, er, menageries while they telling her that they have some miracle pill that will help her lose the poundage but keep the bra cup intact.

Apart from a single contact between Tim and Hunter, these two guys are more fixated on Jessica than to share the love around equally, if you know what I mean. Still, the love scenes are pretty hot, if I can overlook the fact that Fatty McBeal is an annoying creature, even if a part of me would rather have Hunter and Tim gag Jessica up and use her flabby belly as their mattress as they show me some tender loving man love. Or if that’s too much to ask, I’d settle for the two men giggling as they use Fatty McBeal’s stomach as a trampoline. Wheee!

I don’t know what happened but Ms Downs towards the end cops out on the premise and tries to change the menagerie of three into a tale of romantic twosome love. That feels forced and contrived. There are much better threesome tales out there than Diet Another Day, I’m sure.