Deep Desires Press, $2.99
Fantasy Erotica, 2017
Cliff Waters is a human who has just enrolled into the College of United Monsters. That makes little sense until I realize what the acronym of the college is. Of course – carry on then, Mr Waters. He finds himself in a class of mermaids, all with various brightly-hued hairs and a tendency to touch their privates when they see him. Cliff only have eyes for Leith McWhalen, though.
Long, yellow hair flowed over muscular shoulders, tickled over bulging pecs, and teased around a tapered waist. This merman was a total slice-of-alright cake with a generous helping of abs on top.
Isn’t that sexy?
Leith was feeling up the slit that Cliff was relatively certain contained his McWhalen.
Sexier, right?
Because merfolks apparently have a fetish for legs, humans are considered very desirable by these finned creatures, so Cliff ends up becoming the most popular kid in class. He finds himself to be very good at dodgeball, too, and I would make a joke about Leith’s testicles here if I weren’t sure whether he has any. I read that he has a big fishy pee-pee – I don’t want to imagine how that looks like, so don’t ask – but I don’t remember any mention of testicles, now that I think of it.
Leith is very easy to be had, so Cliff next sets his eyes on Humboldt, the shy cecaelia – that’s a merfolk with the lower body of a squid rather than fish – and I initially roll up my eyes when Cliff is a bottom for the stereotypical buff jock but a top to the shy type. What’s with these stereotypes? What’s wrong with the shy guy becoming a dominant He-Man, er, He-Squid in bed? The author quickly subverts my derision by then having Humby the Hummer use this tentacles to pull a night of the hentai squirmers on Cliff and I can only say I heartily approve. And then Humby starts crying and stammering – again – and I start to roll up my eyes. Again.
You know what will be nice? The author should have ripped out the annoying crybaby’s tentacles and stuck them on Leith. It’s a shame that the tentacles belong to an annoying putz. This is the only ink blot to Desires of the Deep, an otherwise ridiculous, campy, and pretty sexy furry – or whatever the fish equivalent of furry is – erotica that is just so absurd that it ends up being a top notch kind of fun.
