Main cast: Diego Luna (Cassian Andor), Denise Gough (Dedra Meero), Kyle Soller (Syril Karn), Kathryn Hunter (Eedy Karn), Muhannad Bhaier (Wilmon Paak), Anton Lesser (Major Lio Partagaz), Jonjo O’Neill (Captain Kaido), Richard Sammel (Carro Rylanz), and Thierry Godard (Lezine)
Director: Janus Metz

You know, it’s rare for a show to name an episode and perfectly capture the audience’s ongoing existential crisis about the lead character in three little words. Who Are You? is less a dramatic, soul-searching inquiry and more like the show checking its own Wikipedia page because even it can’t remember who’s who anymore.

Andor continues to lurch through scenes like a hungover extra — showing up confused, contributing nothing, and somehow surviving because the plot needs him later. It’s honestly impressive at this point. I’m convinced that by episode 11, he’ll accidentally become the head of the rebellion after tripping into a leadership meeting.

So Andor, a man whose main skillset appears to be frowning at things and being accidentally nearby when important events happen, decides he’s going to kill Deedra Meero. Does he have a plan? Sort of. Does she know she’s in danger? No.

Still, because Andor is involved, this plan goes to hell faster than a mouse droid on fire.

Then we’re treated to the jaw-dropping, dignity-scorching spectacle of Andor almost getting murked by… Syril Karn. Yes, the man who smells like hand sanitizer and unresolved mother issues almost kills the protagonist. If a side character so pathetic he makes Milhouse look like Aragorn can get this close to taking you out, it might be time to retire, buddy.

But fear not, as a character ex machina (™ pending) randomly appears to save Andor at the last second. That’s this show’s entire strategy: don’t write stakes, just have a different person appear with a blaster when things get sticky. It’s like the video game kid in your squad who runs around aimlessly until a cutscene saves them.

Oh yeah, Karn was apparently in deep with the rebels until this episode. How? When? Why? No one knows. Not even the writers, probably. They just realized they needed to wrap this simping disaster up and decided the best character arc for Karn was: simp, get played, die unceremoniously. A true inspiration for all future Twitch mods.

Meanwhile, Wilmon refuses to leave without his girlfriend. Wait, he has a girlfriend? Since when?! This poor girl’s entire contribution to the rebellion is pretty much “stand slightly behind Wilmon in two crowd shots and once dropped a cup”. She’s basically the Star Wars equivalent of an NPC who gives you a side quest that you soon forget exists.

By the time the episode mercifully ends, Meero is crying. Is it because she realizes she might actually care about her bootlicker of a boyfriend? Is it because her career ambitions turned out to be as hollow as this show’s episode pacing? Or is it because she desperately needs a bathroom break? Who knows. Who cares.

This episode was a choppy, explosion-laden mess, like the writers spilled Red Bull on the script and just started crossing things out. No build-up, no tension, just things happening because reasons. But hey, only four more episodes left before we can all stop pretending this season has a plot. Let’s go, team!