Dungeon Masters Guild, $9.99
Horror, 2021
Van Richten’s Pocketbook to Ravenloft is a third party material, one that I purchased because I had a spare $10 voucher that allowed me to get this one for free. I don’t normally get third party stuff unless they come highly recommended, because most of the time they can be as much a miss as they are a hit. This one intrigues me a little because it offers five new domains for use in a Ravenloft campaign, plus I can get it for free, so why not, eh?
Well, how about the fact that the promised lands are not the most exciting ones around town?
Firstly, this one opens with new ranger and barbarian subclasses. These are actually the most interesting parts of the whole thing, as these classes are basically dark magic fighter variations of the ranger and the barbarian, and I always have a soft spot for mage fighter types. The new race, the obligatory lycan for people that want to play sexy furries, is… well, that’s not the most exciting race, is it? It gives a player a chance to have darkvision and transform into a monstrous form when they feel like it, and they can scare people around them with a howl. In other words, this is a race for people that want to feel like they are just not like other werewolves. Special! Feel the snowflakes!
Now, the domains.
First off is Dromeria, a land torn by civil war, and the darklord is a tyrant stymied by the fact that his power doesn’t extend outside his tiny corner of the kingdom. Everyone else wants a piece of the land—and him—and he can only retain his powers by retaining his throne. This domain is a temperate climate setting, with mountains and forests and dukes and kings, while the monsters are standard undead sorts. So, what is so special about Dromeria that I can’t get from other places, like the Shadowlands, Borca, etc? Sure, one can argue that this is a medieval version of some other domain, with extra civil war thrown in, blah blah blah, but these are just cosmetic tweaks. This domain doesn’t fill any niche that is missing in established domains that are already put out by official sources. It’s just a medieval civil war place with undead monsters thrown in to give it some “dark fantasy” flavor.
Oh, and every NPCs here are given their preferred pronouns, even shadows, orcs, etc. I guess misgendering someone is the biggest horror in a demiplane of horrors, because why else would orcs, mummies, and whatever care to insist that they are addressed by they or whatever pronouns that catch their fancy, right? Does it even make sense for woke people to insist that faraway fantasy worlds must still conform to present day Portland-and-San-Francisco woke cultures? That only works if we assume that every orc and gremlin and whatever is actually a woke Karen wearing some Halloween costume bought from Hot Topic, and if that’s the people author Jack Weighill wants to populate his games, hey, more power to that fellow. It’s just… seriously, giving preferred pronouns to a shadow? Does no one realize how ridiculous this is?
Anyway, let’s move on to the next domain. Now, this is a winner. Gaol is Scaena if Scaena is an expansion instead of just a DLC. A domain that is basically one ongoing play starring the darklord, an ordinary actor that refuses to admit that he is anything but a star, with scrapped plays and their cast relegated to languishing in hellish levels that form the sewers and lower levels of the domain. This one has far more thought and imagination put into it than any of the other domains offered here, so that’s a plus. However, the very nature of this place means that, like the Nightmare Lands and even Scaena itself, it doesn’t have much repeat visit value once the initial gimmick of the domain is revealed. Even the suggested adventure hooks here revolve around the darklord and his current play, and not much else.
Isrige is a ice-covered domain ruled by a tyrannical snow witch type. Again, this one feels like any other generic fantasy kingdom ruled by a tyrant, just add snow and absolute zero, with poor people trying to hunt and forage enough foods to survive the perpetual winter. So… Sanguinia or Vorostokov with demented Elsa as a darklord, basically? The Elsa-wannabe here doesn’t even seem evil enough to warrant being a darklord, as she’s just a neglectful mother having to deal with the repercussions of the neglected daughter, who is a mean and nasty bully, finding her magic mirror and making a wish that ends up killing many people. One can even argue that Elsa-wannabe killing that menace actually saves her people from more death and misery. Hence, what makes her crimes so heinous that she is given a domain to rule as a darklord?
Again, there is nothing about Isrige that stands out in any way that is interesting or fresh to make me scream, “Hey, this is something that is missing from Ravenloft all this while!”
Rotwald is another fantasy kingdom with villagers huddled in a polyamorous group hug as they try to avoid the dark woods, where two twin siblings hunt for monsters so zealously that they end up not caring whether they are taking down actual monsters or just unfortunate sods that happen to cross paths with them. Once again, I have to ask: what makes this domain special? The topography, the population, the culture all scream generic fantasy sandbox, and the two joint darklords could be any random NPCs that wander around places like Kartakass, Verbrek, Invidia, et cetera. The concept of deranged monster hunters isn’t anything new or original either. So, why would anyone want to play in Rotwald?
Oh, please take note that the preferred pronouns of a ghost character is “she/her”. Get that right, or else the Mists will claim you and force you to rule a domain in which every member of the population is a shrieking Karen demanding to see you, the Ultimate Manager.
Finally, Scelus, a domain that is made of up slums run by crime lords and terrorized by the darklord, a serial killer. So… Paridon with a touch of Nosos? Again, what is so special about this one? There is nothing about the geography, culture, and economy that scream “This is something fresh and new that have never been existed in Ravenloft before!”
Well, I supposed there is that darklord, I guess, a dark-skinned half-elf that looks forever sexy side of twenty, who is given so much power that the Dark Powers have to give her amnesia and steal her powers slowly to keep her under their control. Don’t get too excited, though, as the author also tells us that this overpowered person is also manipulated by dark magic and the worship of Juiblex, and she only fell afoul with these things because she only wanted to seek vengeance. One of my least favorite aspect of Ravenloft is the female darklords constantly being portrayed as victims of circumstances, emotions, or other stereotypical notions associated with fragile femininity, which is why I actually like how the Fifth Edition actually gave the female darklords more agency over their wickedness. Here, the author can’t seem to decide whether Darklord Sue is his waifu or the villain of his campaign, and the whole thing comes off as pure cringe.
Oh, and you all better don’t misgender the hobgoblin, okay? The chaotic evil, probably insane cleric of a Great Old One will get his fee-fees hurt if you show him such disrespect. Ditto the nothic, which one may recall is a monster with a single big eye that can rot one’s flesh with its gaze. Sure, these aren’t human and who knows how they reproduce or whether there is even male and female dimorphism going on with them, but the author knows better and warns everyone to call this nothic in Scelus by his preferred pronoun (“he/they”). The author hasn’t offered the preferred pronouns of Darklord Sue’s ooze minions, though, so maybe a cancellation with utter prejudice is in order for such ooze-phobic behavior.
The final section is the obligatory bestiary of the unimaginative and boring critters that plague this place, and I am aghast because there are no mentions of the preferred pronouns of these creatures. Excuse me? How will my horny and sexy bard know how to properly and respectfully address the sexy ice trolls that he wants to bang, then?
Oh, and this thing also comes with a map pack. The maps look lovely, but frankly, I can’t think of any reason why anyone will want to play around in these unimaginative domains. Wait, I can think of one reason: the DM is Jack Weighill, and no one wants to hurt that fellow’s feelings by disagreeing openly at the table. Keep Van Richten’s Pocketbook to Ravenloft in the pocket, as there is little need to take it out often.
