Black Umbrella Publishing, $0.99, ISBN 978-1005932671
Contemporary Erotica, 2021

When I placed Twice the Tricks & Treats into my virtual shopping cart, it was labeled as a work of romantic suspense. That is only true in the super liberal grasping of straws way, because the only suspense to be had here is which of the two guys here that the heroine will let first into her party city via the back door. Yes, there are two guys here and the bulk of the story is devoted to intimate body contortions, which is why I’m doing the right thing here and labeling this one as a work of erotica.

I’ll be honest upfront: I find the whole thing between heroine Avery and her two male roommates Connor and Brandon pretty creepy in the sense that the two men want her bad, so they do the right thing by warning off and even threatening any man that dares to sniff at her rear end. When the story opens, they decide, behind her back naturally, that her Halloween costume for an upcoming party is too revealing and they need to get her a more modest outfit STAT.

I know, it’s a romance novel thing, and it’s perfectly valid that some readers want to let loose in a fantasy of being coddled and dominated by alpha males. Then again, we have two men that can’t tell the heroine to lie down and raise the butt now, so I don’t think we can call them alpha males.

Fortunately, our heroine is nearly slipped a roofie and she is also nearly assaulted, and our heroes are there to save her, so there is nothing like some good-old fashioned aspiring rapist gangs to bring heroes and heroines together. Despite her and the two men being unable to express how much they want to boink the other, all of a sudden they are now making out, shagging in, dragging out, and checking out every entrance to her party city.

Avery calls her two men “Daddies” and they in turn call her variations of “baby girl” and such. I’ve personally always find such endearments vaguely creepy when used in a non-ironic or non-humorous way, especially when the entire relationship is catalyzed by the heroine being in a position of weakness and needing to be rescued.

Also, come on, what kind of story of this? These three are supposed to be tongue-tied or shy when it comes to expressing their throbbing, pulsing need for the other person, but they start going at it with full gusto when they are given the chance. It’s like they all had a personality transplant… well, I suppose that’s because the authors realize that they want to end the whole thing soon so let’s just get the party started.

Here’s the thing, though. The sex marathon is hot. It is easy to forget that I am tad perturbed by the whole daddy and baby girl thing when these three are going at it in ways that make me go: “Oh mama, oh daddy!” Sure, the characters are cardboard types with overly heated nether regions, but it’s okay, because these cardboard characters do hot things and I’m easy that way. Hot, hot, hot—just the way I like it.

It’s a shame that the authors don’t just start and end the story with nothing but sex, because that would have elevated this story to the heavens. Instead, they want to have a plot to go with the sexy times, and ugh, what a plot that is, snort.

So, Twice the Tricks & Treats. Come for the sexy, and stay for the sexy, by which I mean just quickly flip past the pages until the boinking begins, This thing is only $0.99, so it’s not like one is getting less value for money by skipping the dud parts straight to the good ones.