JMS Books LLC, $4.99, ISBN 978-1611523638
Fantasy Erotica, 2012
Ooh, I love the concept behind Wayne Mansfield’s The Phantom. Our hero, Toby, has recently graduated from high school and, upon seeing an ad announcing that The Phantom is looking for a ship hand, decides to join the crew of that old-school ship. Well, he’s in for an adventure as there will be mermen and djinns and more, as the ship heads on to locate Atlantis, of all people. Oh, and Toby gets to enjoy various bodily protrusions and orifices with gusto, since this is an erotic romp, after all.
There is an exotic seafaring quality of the story, as the crew travels all over the place and experiences all kinds of ups and downs – mostly up, especially when it comes to the crew’s certain anatomical bits – and the author does a pretty good job in capturing that epic feel of the whole thing. The sex scenes are numerous enough, but I soon find myself more interested in what these people will do next, as opposed to whom they will do. Toby likes Tiger who treats him not too nicely, while Pete likes Toby but Toby is oblivious for the most part – maybe because Pete’s pee-pee is described as “stubby” while Tiger is a magnificent eight-inch glory described in full technicolor. Still, in the end this story proves that it’s true: it’s not the size that matters, it’s how the man uses it!
One thing keeps distracting me from fully getting into the story, though: the setting itself. There is a historical feel to this story, from the whole indiscriminate buggery without any regards to possible laws clamping down on men pigging out on high school grads to some rather politically incorrect attitude towards natives – all of which make more sense should this story takes place, say, in the 18th or 19th century. However, there are the occasional mentions of GQ magazine, hi-NRG dances, and more to force me to recall that this story is set in the 20th or 21st century. Is even necessary to have this story set in the present day? It’s not like they will need a tank or a nuclear bomb to advance the plot, and I feel that the whole epic seafaring voyage thing along with the fantastical elements are more Treasure Island meets Moby Dick than, say, a Clive Cussler adventure romp.
Still, no matter. I’m certainly entertained enough by The Phantom, although a part of me will always be disappointed that this one didn’t get to channel more Rudyard Kipling or Joseph Conrad kind of epic travelogue-cum-adventure tales. Sure, sailors that love buggery are always A-OK in my book, but still, there are mermaids, djinns, Atlantis… and I get only this as a result?