Curious Fox, £5.99, ISBN 978-1-782-02256-5
Fantasy, 2015

Since this is a You Choose Stories gamebook entry with Batman on the cover, you are going to play Batman in… hey, wait a minute.

No, you are not Batman in Laurie S Sutton’s The Joker’s Dozen. Instead, you just read the story and then make a decision for Batman every few pages. I guess when DC Comics licensed the use of Batman to this publisher, they laid down the law that no stinking great unwashed person that picks up this gamebook is allowed to pretend even for a second that they are the Dark Knight.

Given that this one is aimed at young kids, don’t expect edgy angst, violence, or heaven forbid, nookie. The tone of this one is more in line with the campy TV series of the 1960s, as the Joker has put a nefarious plot into action: people in Gotham City are turned into laughing Joker-lookalikes that rob banks and more for the villain’s amusement! Batman is asked to solve the problem, so the chase is on.

This one boasts of 12 endings, but all of them are positive. Batman can’t lose or die—this isn’t a NetherRealm Studios game, that’s for sure.

Instead, your choices will take you down various mini-stories in which you’ll meet the Joker, go on a short chase, and then stomp his rear end and hand him back to the cops, who’d jail him and he’d break out and the whole tedious cycle continues ad nauseam.

So how is this one? Well, it’s not awful, but it also won’t make you feel like a superhero while playing it. The various mini-stories are all similar in nature, with minor variations that do little to make them feel less interchangeable. Sometimes Batman gets to joust with the Joker on dinosaurs, sometimes he easily breaks out of the villain’s trap because he just happens to have the right tool in his belt, but all in all, every path feels the same.

Each mini-story ends with some cringe “humor” that probably tries to capture the wacky nature of the 1960s TV series or just misfired comedy in action—whatever the reason, the cringe is real.

“He’s all yours, Commissioner,” Batman tells Gordon and hands over the end of the Batrope.

“Let them eat cake!” the Joker laughs madly.

“I prefer doughnuts,” Gordon replies.

THE END

Uh… what was that again?

This one is an adequate and quick way to spend a boring afternoon, but you can easily find far more interesting things to do. The colored illustrations are nice, but you likely won’t be able to appreciate this one as much as, say, a six-year old because there isn’t much here that can appeal to anyone older than that.