Main cast: Dominique Thorne (Riri Williams/Ironheart), Lyric Ross (NATALIE), Manny Montana (John King), Matthew Elam (Xavier Washington), Anji White (Ronnie Williams), Jim Rash (Professor Wilkes), Eric André (Rampage), Cree Summer (Madeline Stanton), Sonia Denis (Clown), Shea Couleé (Slug), Zoe Terakes (Jeri Blood), Shakira Barrera (Roz Blood), and Anthony Ramos (Parker Robbins/The Hood)
Director: Sam Bailey

If Captain America: Brave New World was the last remnant of a time when Kevin Feige, freed from the handlers that kept him under leash and drunk on hubris, had a whole slew of movies highlighted without any care for marketability because he was so confident that he could hitch his wagon to progressive buzzwords and raise his personal cachet, well, Ironheart was the last remnant of the Disney+ shows he greenlit. 

The fact that both had black lead characters and the result was so, so underwhelming clearly demonstrates how Mr Feige and his circle of bobblehead minions do not understand actual black people and the social issues that affect them. They think just slapping on a black character, to replace a white character as if such gesture was magnanimous and not a consolation prize, and then adding on the most cringe stereotypes they project onto such a character as a giant leap of progressiveness. 

Hence, they think the world needs an Ironheart series because she is black.

Never mind that the character had always been massively unpopular because she was an insufferable asshole chasing victim status solely as a form of self-gratification. Never mind that her actions are dictated by ego instead of any innate sense of heroism. Oh, and pay no mind that she has her start by stealing Tony Stark’s Iron Man suit and acting like she has earned her way up by doing so. After all, everyone knows that black people are thieves, right? We should accept that as part of black culture or something, I guess!

These people may as well whisper out loud what they are thinking — “black people are just like that, they can’t help themselves” — and last piece of jigsaw puzzle falls, and the full picture of Disney progressiveness is now complete.

So, finally Ironheart is unleashed on Disney+ after endless delays as the higher-ups at Disney realize that they have been handed yet another pile of manure on a silver platter by Feige and Friends. They release the whole thing in one pained toilet bowl experience over two weeks, because they clearly just want to just get this thing out and then task their accountants to get as much tax write-off as possible out of this nonsense.

This version of Riri Williams, at least in Take Me Home, is nowhere as a wretched pustule on one’s derriere as her comic book counterpart. Alas, she still retains much of the smugness that made the comic book counterpart a hate magnet. Also, she is a criminal because this show was made during a time when the only noble black character allowed on screen is a peaceful protestor. 

So, our adorable heroine starts out by proclaiming that she is the greatest inventor of her time, but alas, she has to do her internship and — gasp, do intern things like all interns do. How can this be? Why isn’t everyone handing her everything she wants and deserves right away?

Because of this ultimate insult to her gender and race — because what else would they make her do intern things, right? — she decides to sell her stuff to criminals in order to continue her path to being a master inventor. Oh, the show mentions once in a while that her inventions do good things, so what’s a few dead people now and then when she gets the pleasure of knowing that her inventions help some old lady or two out there, eh? What Riri wants, she deserves to get, and she has overcome patriarchy and sexism and racism and whatever by taking things in her own hands like this. 

Oh, and she steals the Ironheart armor too. That’s okay. She’s a proud strong black woman that makes it better than any disgusting white man ever could, so once again, our heroine beats sexism and patriarchy and whatever.

I don’t blame the cast for this. Dominique Thorne has the misfortune of being stuck playing one of the most heinous POS characters to ever grace the MCU, and there are those very few times in this episode when Riri is just being Riri, and Ms Thorne manages to make that character appear almost human and even likable. Almost, that is, because this episode is determined to somehow push forward this narrative that Riri is some kind of social justice crusader when she is just a petulant woman-child mad that she has to work her way up like everyone else in the working class, and woman-child that has no qualms doing shady things for instant gratification.

Oh, and Matthew Elam is nice to look out, so there’s that.

However, there is really no saving this episode from how oblivious it is to its own nature. I tune in out of curiosity to see how Disney could have had salvaged what was originally whispered to be the biggest train wreck ever, but sadly, if this had been an improved version, I could only shudder at how tone-deaf the original had to be.