BMG
Pop, 2024

New Kids on the Block are anything but kids anymore. Jonathan Knight is 56, which means if you were hoping for some teenage angst vibes, you’re going to get more “midlife crisis” than “backseat romance”.

Yet, in a move that’s either sheer self-awareness or a desperate plea for relevance, they’ve named their eighth album Still Kids. Yes, really. It’s as if they’re winking at the world and saying, “We may be old enough to collect AARP membership points, but we still remember how to floss… musically, at least.”

And you know what? That cheeky sense of humor is fitting because the album leans hard into nostalgia — so hard it might give you whiplash. DJ Jazzy Jeff and Taylor Dayne make appearances, a casting choice that prompts the obvious question: does anyone under 40 remember these people, or are the rest of us just collectively trapped in a time loop?

Still, the nostalgia is harmless and often charming.

Come Back deliver a melancholy twist that’s unexpectedly moving — like finding a dusty Polaroid of your middle school crush and realizing they still have a weirdly great haircut.

In the Night has them channeling Journey as if a Glee revival had taken over a carnival tent — big power chords, soaring harmonies, and enough theatrical flair to make you wonder if someone handed them a glow stick mid-recording.

Then there’s Get Down, featuring DJ Jazzy Jeff and a sample of Diana Ross’s Upside Down. The track essentially lets the guys pretend they’re a funk band from the ’80s for three minutes, and honestly, they pull it off better than expected. Jordan Knight’s falsetto, which once could shatter glass and cause minor panic attacks, has mellowed with age into something genuinely pleasant. It’s like discovering that the annoying kid in your high school choir grew up to be a slightly overenthusiastic, but competent, lounge singer.

At the end of the day, Still Kids is a fun listen — so long as you can stomach the cognitive dissonance of five men in their fifties crooning about things that should only concern teenagers. It’s a nostalgia trip heavy enough to give you the sweet pangs of memory, yet surprisingly sophisticated enough to make you think, “Huh, these guys aren’t completely unbearable anymore.” It’s the grown-up New Kids on the Block album for anyone who wants to relive the days when hair gel ruled supreme, jeans were tight, and the biggest problem in life was remembering the chorus of Step by Step.