Main cast: Robert Patrick (Mr Lisp), Antonio Banderas (Gregorio Cortez), Carla Gugino (Ingrid Cortez), Alexa Vega (Carmen Cortez), Daryl Sabara (Juni Cortez), Alan Cumming (Fegan Floop), Tony Shalhoub (Alexander Minion), Teri Hatcher (Mrs Gradenko), Cheech Marin (Felix Gumm), Danny Trejo (Isador “Machete” Cortez), Mike Judge (Donnagon Giggles), and George Clooney (Devlin)
Director: Robert Rodriguez

Spy Kids is the story of Juni Cortez and his elder sister Carmen who become spy tykes after their spy parents are kidnapped. Together, they must overcome their differences to overcome the evil plans of Floop and his minions who want to sell robot killer kids to Mr Lisp for world conquest. Got that?

Well, after reading all the rave reviews of this movie, I am expecting something… well, whimsical. Instead, this one is a straightforward Disney-like kids-in-charge flick. There are some rather interesting nudge-wink pokes at this kiddie action genre, but the movie never go beyond that. Hence, it is a rather boring, clichéd movie that ends up being all about Juni.

Yep, that sister kicks ass, but it’s all about the boy and his contrived “I’m scared and I’m alienated!” nonsense. Ultimately, the sister ends up playing accessory to that brat’s manhood trials.

Alan Cummings play a rather adorable baddie, as does Tony Shalhoub. Robert Patrick must be thanking The X-Files if playing minute roles as cardboard baddies is where his post-Terminator 2 career is heading. But everything fun about Spy Kids is ultimately swamped and ruined by preachy overtones and gag-inducing “sweet family moments”.

Rewind, rewind – I want that Daddy and Mommy Spy falling in love story back. Not this thing.