Sticky Graphic Novels, $7.20
Fantasy Erotica, 2015

Sticky Graphic Novels claims to be a publisher of “wordless, gay character-based, sex-positive” graphic novels, and they have been praised by the woke online media in such a manner that I realize I need to read a few of these things, or else I will never become as woke and enlightened as these people. Mind you, I’d always preferred my gay smut to be from the likes of Tom of Finland, Gengoroh Tagame, and Mentaiko, so I’m no stranger to ridiculously proportioned pee-pees and happy hours that end up with everyone drenched head to toe with you-know-what. In fact, when done right, those things are actually hot.

So, after looking at the catalogue at Class Comics, I picked Dale Lazarov’s Sly #1 – art by mpMann – because the cover looks hot. Hairy daddies and naughty spy dudes – what’s not to like, right?

Well, as advertised, this slim graphic novel – here’s my side eye at the use of the word “novel” by the publisher – has no words, just action. And sometimes, I have no words too.

Our hero – his name is Sly, I suppose – uses a hand glider to sneak up to and break into this base, in which evil military people (Russians? Trump supporters?) are holding this bearded hot daddy scientist captive. Sly comes in and knocks the guards unconscious, while Hot Scientist Daddy is taking a dump at the toilet and reading something. Of course, the fact that his pants are down means that Sly gets to have long, good look at his chubby test tube. The paper the scientist is holding is immediately vanished once he stands up, and I hope that’s because he has used his reading material to wipe his rear end. I mean, I don’t see him actually doing it, but I hope he did it, because Sky will soon be sticking his tongue up that man’s back exit and I really, really hope he’s cleaned up that area or poor Sly may end up needing antibiotics or something soon.

Back to the scene, Hot Scientist Daddy pulls up his pants and the two then take off in a plane conveniently located in the hangar. The scientist shows his appreciation to Sly by groping at the man’s tonsils with his tongue. Somehow the plane doesn’t crash – Sly must be really good at multi-tasking – and instead, they end up in the Good Spy HQ where once again the scientist takes a dump. Sly enters the men’s room as the scientist is washing his hands with soap – thank goodness, that means he’s cleaned up properly – and then, we cut to what seems like Sly’s place or the scientist’s as these two begin doing the naughty.

Now, I like hairy guys, but the way mpMann draws them, these two guys are so hairy and yet so oddly long-limbed that their naughty scenes remind me of that scene in The Howling. You know, the one with two people going at it while transforming into werewolves. I find myself turning the pages to see whether they would actually turn into wolves, but alas, these two just go through the motions. And that’s my biggest gripe with Sly #1: those naughty scenes are so… clichéd and done to death already so many times before. The same positions, the same happy finish… although I like the fact that these two are versatile enough to take as well as give.

I also like that, unlike the rest of the stuff sold at Class Comics, the pee-pees here are reasonably sized for gay smut, so they don’t make me want to make the sign of the cross each time they get whipped out. Sly is cute too, so long as he keeps his clothes on, but that’s my personal preference. I like looking at hairy guys, but I draw the line at guys looking like they are in the middle of a transformation into werewolves.

Anyway, that’s it. Sly #1 is completely forgettable, and I’d go as far as to say it’s worth a look only if you have a fetish for very, very, very hairy guys.