Polydor
Pop, 2000

Ronan Keating from Boyzone has gone solo. Well, he has a great voice, that’s a fact. His voice reminds me of melting popcorn in summer and sultry heat of summer nights. But being a lead singer in a boyband – shudder! – must be hard on that poor man. Mr Keating wants to be a serious pop star. Ergo, this album.

Unfortunately, the final result is Ronan, an album even senior citizens would be embarrassed to play on their bingo night parties. Enlisting top names in dire ballads like Bryan Adams and the Bee Gee dudes to help him, the poor lad ends up sounding older than old and more boring than watching paint dry.

Ballads – worse, boring, lifeless ballads – plague this album. It is so hard to stay awake, much less interested, in dire tunes like The Way You Make Me Feel and If I Don’t Tell You Now. These are songs of the worst vein, in fact, these are songs people play when they want to drive uninvited guests out of the house.

But there’s a dim spark here. With the aid of the New Radicals fellow Gregg Alexander, Mr Keating displays a naughty, exuberant side in the fabulous Life Is a Rollercoaster, one of the simplest yet funkiest uptempo tunes I’ve heard in a long time. It’s also powerfully romantic, with Mr Keating mischievously teasing the listener that wherever you go, he will go, because he just can’t live without you. Ooh. “Hey baby!” he goes in a delightful falsetto, before his dulcet baritones send tingles up me spine with his naughty, naughty voice. Now that is what Me Keating is good at.

Then there’s also the dark, moody Heal Me, which is good too, and the heartrending When You Say Nothing at All – ooh, that one still makes me tear up. And the pretty so-so Keep On Walking rounds off the four listenable tunes out of this bag of credibility-search-gone-awry. Mr Keating, ditch the old codgers and get yourself a lively producer. Fly free, and relax, for Goodness’ sake, buddy! You’re boring me to sleep.