Loose Id, $4.99, ISBN 978-1-59632-777-1
Sci-fi Romance, 2008
The new bodyguard her father had insisted on assigning her looked like a block of hewn granite and had just about that much personality. He was a rock, with hard, black, almond eyes, a sharp blade of a nose, and cheekbones that appeared ready to break through his skin. His jaw could stop a truck, and his lips were so tight and straight you could use them as a ruler. If coal were shoved up his ass, he’d press out diamonds. Only his sleek black hair showed a hint of unruliness as random strands fell across his forehead.
Gee, I think our heroine Leelah has a crush on her bodyguard Ja-Hun. Leelah is the daughter of the President of the Free Worlds, whatever that is supposed to mean, and as a result, she always has a bodyguard breathing down her neck and putting a crimp on her social life. Leelah wonders whether she will ever have any opportunity to do her own thing without having a bunch of people deciding for her whether she can go ahead with it, and Ja-Hun looks like a particularly difficult bodyguard to shake off. He will no doubt watch her like a hawk and she will never be… ooh, look at those shoulders. The next thing I know, Leelah is touching herself on page eight after imagining various bulging parts of Ja-Hun’s body in her head, so I can only think that there is a bright side to having Ja-Hun as a bodyguard.
It is while she is happily using the vibrator on herself that Ja-Hun bursts into her room upon hearing her shriek like a demented banshee. Oops. I tell you, it is probably a good thing that Ja-Hun isn’t secretly working for the other party, or the media will have a field day with this one.
The rest of the story takes place under a pretty short time and it deals with Leelah trying to shake off Ja-Hun for some quiet time on her town, not that he is that easily shaken off. There is some minor drama towards the end of the story, but for the most part, Rock Hard is very light on plot and emotion. It instead offers plenty of scenes meant to titillate the reader.
It is disappointing, really, to read this story and realize that it could easily be any other one-handed read passed off as erotic romance that is saturating the electronic fiction market right now. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the author’s previous efforts, but I am hoping for something more than this short and forgettable sex romp from the author.
Loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, Lego, chocolates, tasty buffets, video game music, and fantastical stories.