Hot Corner Press, $2.99, ISBN 978-1-937252-07-6
Romantic Suspense, 2010

Laura Harner’s Rescued has two themes forming the foundation of its plot: ménage à trois and domestic abuse. It is also a great case study on how to completely fail at portraying both in a realistic manner.

Basically, this story is about Elizabeth Ashford being rescued from her cartoon villain of a domestic abuser husband by our heroes Graeme Kennedy, the local sheriff, and Michael Enwright, security company boss that just happens to be there when Elizabeth becomes a battered piñata. 

It was hard to argue with the first. She didn’t love Barry. An affair was out of the question. The only man she’d ever wanted was standing in front of her wearing a badge, and he was a big part of the reason she’d stayed married to Barry for as long as she had.

So… the heroine stays this long with her abusive husband because Graeme is her ex? What?

However, soon Graeme is having the horny horns for Michael just like that and they start getting at it.

Then Elizabeth, who clearly has no PTSD from her domestic abuse unless it’s convenient, starts asking Graeme to shag her.

That fucking Michael was hot. H-O-T! The little trick in the bedroom had been clever. It had been a test, not an invitation. In just a few hours, Michael had figured out that Graeme loved Lizzie and yet was still attracted to men. A man that observant would make a dangerous enemy.

Uh, why is Michael so eager for Grame to shag Lizzie? Does he want to watch?

He’d never told Lizzie it was his desire for men that kept him from completely committing to her when they were younger. He’d pushed her into another man’s arms, rather than let her know the truth of it. Now that other man had nearly killed her.

Wait, is the author trying to pin the blame on Lizzie staying with Barry and getting the whacking of her life on Michael not wanting to tell Lizzie that he also likes men?

What is the author doing? Does she read what she had written?

Meanwhile, Elizabeth has only three personalities: screaming, crying, and horny. Her PTSD comes up when she has to scream and cry so that the two men will have no choice but to hover over her 24/7. Other than those moments, she’s dry-eyed, horny, and even sassing Graeme. Clearly, she needs to see a therapist, but we all know that in romance novels, the best therapy is that thing dangling between a man’s legs. 

Then Michael starts feeling tad jealous when Lizzie and Graeme are getting it on. Did the author forget that she had this man urging Graeme to go get Lizzie?

Then, Graeme realizes that drowning in hoo-hahs and pee-pees at his disposal 24/7 is too much and too angsty, so he has to walk away, causing Jo — who is she again? — to scold him that he is walking away from his life when other people in this world are dying. Dying! 

That’s a first, telling someone that walking away from a relationship is a bad thing because elsewhere, someone somewhere is having their life snuffed out.

Then, Lizzie decides that she likes to get double-pilloried by Graeme and Michael, I guess because Michael is hot too so why not just spread those legs like the coming of a new era, and then these three are now a happily ever after trio.

Seriously, what have I just read? This story is a mess of unrealistic, often contradictory character motivations with the added bonus of disjointed and unrealistic character development. The villain is too over the top, snarling and ranting like Snidely Whiplash, to be taken seriously in spite of him being a wife battering ram. 

To add insult to the injury, this one isn’t even an erotic romp. Some hot threesome boinking could have gone a long way to overcome the other deficits in this story, as one reads an erotica expecting titillation first and all plot stuff is secondary, but no, there’s none of that here.

In the end, this one is just a tragic failed execution. The only reason I’m not giving this one a single oogie is because the prose is competent and the story has the grace to end quickly, but even then, a part of me feels that it is a great injustice to even give it a mercy extra oogie. 

At any rate, just avoid this thing.