Chris Lowry, $2.99, ISBN 979-8223662198
Horror, 2023
Okay, so the vampire in question is described as having a mullet and a beer gut. Who on earth, therefore, is that thing on the cover of Chris Lowry’s Redneck Vampire Terrorizes Trailer Park, hmm?
This one is exactly what it says on the can. One fine day, the Lost Hope Trailer Park—what a cheery name—receives a new visitor.
A shimmer of heat rose from the distance, and a low rumble caught his attention. Squinting his eyes, he watched as an enormous, shiny mobile mansion slowly approached the park.
Yes, before long, a vampire is treating the folks like it’s buffet night, every night. Hank Johnson would no doubt stealthily attempt to discover the truth behind the new resident and find a ghastly…
Late one night, Hank stealthily approached Vincent’s mobile mansion, his heart pounding in his chest. Peering through a crack in the curtains, he saw Vincent poring over ancient-looking books and maps, his eyes glowing with an unnatural light. As Hank watched, transfixed, Vincent’s features shifted, revealing the unmistakable visage of a vampire – fangs, pallid skin, and all.
Wait, that’s it? He peeks through the curtains and instantly discovers Vincent’s secret?
The rest of the story follows the usual “gang versus the vamp” thing but I never really recover from my disappointment.
You see, this story suffers from a lack of descriptive narrative. It’s all “he does this, she does that, they do this” like it’s straight out of an IKEA assembly instruction sheet and the story isn’t much fun to read as a result.
I feel that the author could have added more details to create a sense of tension, fear, or whatever. After all, rednecks versus vampire could have been a fun romp, but the end result is a dry and stilted affair. The characters are all one-dimensional cut-outs, the setting never feels real or actualized, and there is nothing here that feels redneck or trailer park-y.
Surely it shouldn’t be this way? This one could have been Fright Night—the original one, not the dreary remake—in a trailer park, but no, it’s just… dry and dull.
Weirdly enough, the super short bonus short, if I can call it that, gets everything right. It’s quirky, unexpected, and works very well as a short but effective satire of teen vampire stories. I wish I have seen more of that Chris Lowry in the main course of the meal, so to speak!
