Main cast: Wyatt Russell (Ray Waller), Kerry Condon (Eve Waller), Amélie Hoeferle (Izzy Waller), Gavin Warren (Elliot Waller), Jodi Long (Lucy Summers), Nancy Lenehan (Kay), Eddie Martinez (Coach E), and Ben Sinclair (Pool Technician)
Director: Bryce McGuire
Night Swim is based on a short, about three-minute-ish film of the same name that director and screenwriter Bryce McGuire was also involved in. That the short film came out about 10 years ago suggests to me that people in Hollywood have really run out of ideas.
In fact, one can easily tell that Blumhouse Productions is involved in this crap because it is a textbook example of how these people milk dry their formula into husk.
So yes, we have a family that buys a big house for a shockingly cheap price. Okay, folks that have been around the block will realize that this place is haunted by something straight out of so-called modern horror cinema handbook of clichés. So, is it a nun? A clown? A clown of a demon nun, perhaps?
No, it’s the swimming pool.
Of course, a haunted swimming pool is easily avoided when one just not use it, so we have the husband, Ray Waller, being an ex-baseball player that will use the Blumhouse Pool regularly as part of his therapy—he’s diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, hence him having to step back from playing baseball.
Swimming in the pool makes him feel much better, and indeed the water, which is said to have come from an underground spring, may even have some magical powers. However, it also makes Ray act like he’s auditioning for the lead role in a modern-day remake of The Shining—god, I hope I am not giving these people any ideas by stating this out loud—and there may be unfortunate consequences if someone didn’t drain that pool fast.
As usual, it is the wife, Eve, that starts to suspect that something is wrong, and the kids generally exist to be “EEEE! I’M IN DANGER” plot pipsqueaks. This movie turns out to be like every other ooh a family just moved into a scary big house that is so cheap affair, and the whole thing feels so played out and uninspired.
Kerry Condon is alright as the stereotypical strong mom type that is everywhere in this kind of movies, but something tells me that Wyatt Russell may not be a genre hero like his father, as his range is as limited to the length of my thumb or thereabout.
The kids aren’t that annoying, though, so I guess that’s good.
However, the best thing about this movie is the ending credits. No, not because it’s a confirmation that this boring movie is finally coming to an end, but Even Beyond Even Beyond’s song Deeper is a catchy fun song reminiscent of a cheesy dance tune from the 1980s.
Take me deeper
Drag me down to the other side
Pull me under
Fill my lungs with your memories
How is it that there is more artistry and creativity in these four lines from the chorus than in the entire movie?
