Main cast: Patrick Breen (Danny), Louise Roberts (Cheryl), Sarah Trigger (Edwina), and Pamela Dean Kelly (Cerridwen)
Director: Ted Gershuny

Danny, a very naughty boy, meets his girlfriend Cheryl for some making out that can be quite spicy for this show. He’s naughty because my goodness, they are doing this on top of a crate marked “fragile”. How could they!

Unfortunately for strict parents that are watching Museum Hearts with their kids, this making out happens right after the opening credits, so the wholesome family bonding time may need to be followed by an awkward birds and the bees talk for an epilogue.

As for Danny, the nookie is interrupted by the arrival of Edwina, his fiancée. Oops.

Edwina and Danny screech at one another while Cheryl looks on in bemusement when the museum closes and these three are locked in. Danny’s idea of a ménage a trois doesn’t go down—ahem—too well with Edwina so they are forced to find other ways to amuse themselves.

Then the thing in the crate wakes up. She’s a druid priestess, maybe even the goddess Cerridwen herself, and she doesn’t like men, especially cheating louts…

This is meant to be a girl power episode alright. Edwina and Cheryl actually bond, although this episode does it in a way that is very patronizing to Cheryl, who is portrayed as an over the top dumb bimbo in need of being shown by smarter women that she too is all that.

Also, while Danny is an over the top asshole, he is also actually the most intelligent and observant of the lot. Edwina, supposedly the scientist, is too busy acting like an annoyed brat. I mean, she has the right to be, but when she remains stubbornly obtuse even when things are really getting weird, it doesn’t reflect well on this character.

The biggest issue with this episode is the all around terrible acting, especially from Louise Roberts. Patrick Breen valiantly goes around with his shirt unbuttoned, but he’s not that sexy to distract me from wincing each time the actors open their mouths during this episode.

There is some nice violence and gore that go nicely with the more adult themes of threesomes and foreplay in this episode, but still, it’s about an episode of two dumb women that fall for a cartoon villain for some reason, and continue to act dumb until a bog mummy bewitches them into becoming murderous brainwashed acolytes, which are supposed to represent a higher state of intelligence for these women.

In other words, something has gone haywire in the plotting, as well as during the casting process.