Main cast: Augustus Prew (Cameron), Scott Evans (Joel), Ayden Mayeri (Hannah), Lukas Gage (Logan), Adam Faison (Dante), Will Westwater (Ryan), and Chester Lockhart (Zachary)
Director: Carter Smith
Much has been made about how “inclusive” Midnight Kiss is, because the show made a point to have gay or queer guys to play the gay characters in this episode.
Just like with everything else about Hollywood, though, there is a likely motive behind such move that doesn’t necessarily involve social activism: this episode will be murdered, cancelled, and destroyed by the self-proclaimed progressive blue check-marked imbeciles online if a straight person even touched this episode because it is politically incorrect by their standards (Zachary calls his fellow gay buddies “Miss”, “she”, et cetera) and the show has pretty much all the male characters strutting around in fifty shades of nudity for no reason other than these guys have dongs and butts to show off. Oh, and one of the gay characters gets killed by having a broken wine bottle shoved down his throat like a kinky, bloody kind of you know what.
The “inclusiveness” of this show, something quickly highlighted by Blumhouse Productions and dutifully echoed by online media subsequently, is a nice shield. So you have issues with sexual objectification, misgendering, and gay guys being shown as vapid, promiscuous, drug-addled, homocidal homicidal douchebags, and the fact that all the lead characters in this episode are white or white-presenting? Well, shut up, you homophobe, this episode is done and populated by LGBT+ people and we are now cancelling you back—check mate, bitch!
Scott Evans, Chris’s brother who is hotter but far less successful, is Joel. He owns a nice big house with a pool, thanks to his wealthy parents, and he invites his circle of friends to go there and slum it out every year for the New Year. This year, he is joined by his new beau Logan, and he announces their engagement to Cameron and Hannah. Cameron isn’t too excited with the news because he had broken up with Joel recently, and a part of him cringes in advance for Logan, as he knows very well how controlling and manipulative Joel can be to his lovers. They are later joined by flamboyant Zachary. The whole gang is not aware that another friend, Ryan, is already killed by a mysterious masked person, and that masked fellow is of course bent on killing off the rest of them. Why? Is this an I Know What You Did Last Summer thing, or a Scream thing?
Actually, this is more like a Dante’s Cove episode given a glam up in terms of how the nudity and eye candy supersede trivial nonsense like plot in the list of priorities. The MVP of this episode is Will Westwater, who gets the Drew Barrymore role in that he starts off the episode on the phone while changing in and out of various swim shorts. Tantalizing close-ups of his body from front, side, and back, with focus on his rear end, pubic hair, and hints of dong for what seems like forever—this show definitely knows how to make amends for its many deficiencies, I’d give it that. Lukas Gage is next with the lovely display of his rear end and everything but full frontal assault, although there’s a lovely shower scene that shows off the dangling dongle between his legs from the back. The rest of the male cast also show off rear ends, bulging underwear, and more. This show is like a parade of beefcake for a natty or juiced guessing game special.
Plot? Story? Denouement? Payoff? If you care about these things, you’re the wrong audience for this “horror” episode. Well, I suppose that, aside from folks expecting these things, it’s also a horrifying episode for folks that don’t want to see men wearing little to nothing. For everyone else, it’s time to shut off the brain, open wide the eyes, and enjoy the scenery.
