Harlequin, $4.50, ISBN 0-373-65064-7
Contemporary Romance, 2000
I have a sudden craving for baby stories. My only excuse for my weakness is that I keep having Goran Višnjić playing a hot doctor on ER in my mind, remembering those scenes where he is comforting a little girl or stitching the wounds of a little boy – ooh. I find myself seeing him in every Harlequin doctor books I see. It’s scary, and maybe I should see a therapist.
Anyway, I’m in a mood for a good doctor romance, and Married to the Boss, with its otherwise dire reliance on baby clichés, seems perfect for my Dr Luka romance fix.
Among all three Maitland Maternity stories out so far, I chose Lori Foster’s because it’s the only one that without babies or kids in the title (I’m not that vulnerable to Dr Luka). But I am hard pressed not to take out my Freddy Krueger claws and rip the plot and characters to shreds.
I mean, here’s the plot. A baby is left on Maitland Maternity doorsteps, and everyone speculated that RJ Maitland is the daddy. To save his reputation, he decides to marry his loyal secretary Dana Dillinger, who conveniently enough is in love with him for ages.
It’s the brink of 2001. Have these people ever thought of getting a blood or better still DNA test to establish that this baby is not RJ’s? Sure, it’ll take a while to get an official permission to conduct such tests, but I can’t imagine these people – who work in an environment where such tests must be routine – never even think of it. (Or maybe it’s the author or, as I suspect, a Ms Special Project Coordinator, who never think of this.)
Either way, it’s still a rather dim way to get a couple together. I take a pencil and write 1981 under the chapter heading. That’s more… realistic. No wait – 1981 1969. That’s better.
And don’t get me started on Dana. Here is a woman who is so in love with RJ, and I’m not told clearly why, but so in love she is that she will never kiss, touch, or go on decent dates because every man is not RJ. When RJ wants a marriage of convenience, she wants the whole package.
Will they? Will they?
They will. Now what? Will they regret this? Does he love her like she loves him? They must not do this again! Or can they? Will they? Should they? How about his reputation? (Don’t ask.)
Will he? Will she?
One, two, three:
AAAAAAAAAARGGGGHH!!!
Oh, the pain of such a contrived, predictable, boring story. Dr Luka, the pains I go through for you – how about a kiss to make things okay, huh doc?
