eXcessica, $4.99
Mixed Genre Erotica, 2009
Lucky 13 is a collection of stories previously published in magazines that you either do not want your kids to read or, if you are those kids in question, one you definitely want to read and share with all your friends. Because baby, this one is hot, hot, hot.
This collection starts out with a tender rebound love story called Pause, which is quite tame when it comes to the raunch factor, only to jump abruptly to Underpass, a story about a woman caught in a disturbing relationship with a creepily possessive husband, only this one turns out to be less clear-cut a relationship than you’d expect.
The first part of Confessions of a Sexpert is one to read if you want to embark on a career peddling sex toys, because Zushia Chase, self-proclaimed Erotic Specialist from SexEssentials, has plenty of tips to share on how to make a sale. You may even get propositioned like Zushia here by what seems like the perfect Southern couple during one such sales pitch, heh. This is the real hot stuff where I’m concerned because this one is the first story that brings on the ooh-ooh-ooh stuff while the previous two stories skimped on the details. This one certainly is generous with the descriptions of the sensations and emotions as well as the nature of the vigorous acts taking place.
The education continues in Masturbation 101, which makes this collection an essential read for young ladies if you ask me, not that you hear that from me should you get busted reading this by your parents. Make sure you lock the door before you put on your Miley Cyrus CD for background music and read this baby, at the very least. This is one of the most erotic stories in the collection. It ranks really high on the “I need to dunk my head in iced water at 3:00 am in the morning in the middle of winter after reading this baby!” meter.
The subsequent stories demonstrate that the party has truly started and the first two comparatively tame stories are just cursory warm-up sessions. I especially love the second part of Confessions of a Sexpert because it is all about how you don’t have to look and be built like sex gods and goddesses to enjoy mind-blowing wow-wow-whee sex. A delicious plus here is that Zushia is in charge and the man is the one wearing the teddy. Don’t laugh until you read this one, darling. It’s fabulous.
Apart from a disappointing lack of man-on-man action, this collection is quite democratic. From woman-on-woman ai-yai-yai romps to tales of cheating on one’s husband with the grocery store boy to playing bondage games to liberal use of sex toys to female domination, this one has pretty much all the bases covered. If you cannot imagine how the premise of a latex allergy stemming from the use of vibrator can lead to an erotic and romantic read, take a look at Kissing Me Sexy.
While not all the stories have definite closure and some of the stories may disturb readers who are expecting more love and tenderness, Lucky 13 is one sizzling collection of stories that, apart from the first two tame entries, are filled with all the wholesome goodness that erotica has to offer. There are ample descriptions of emotions and sensations that make the graphic sex scenes more vivid for the best vicarious joyride. There are also some unexpectedly tender and even heartwarming moments in the more romantic stories. All in all, this one is too much of a good thing and I’m giving this one two thumbs up. Now where are the subsequent adventures of my favorite salesgirl Zushia Chase?
Oh, and kiddies, if you don’t have your own PC that you can use to store dirty stories like this one away from your parents’ eyes, you can always buy a hard copy from Amazon and pass off the purchase as something you urgently need for a school assignment. As usual, if you get caught by your parents and are subsequently grounded for life as a result while your parents selfishly read the book themselves and refuse to share it with you afterward, I don’t know you, you have never come here, and I don’t know anything.
