Avon, $7.99, ISBN 978-0-06-237191-1
Historical Romance, 2018
Hello Stranger is the fourth book in Lisa Kleypas’s The Ravenels series, and appropriately enough, it is knee-deep in already existing relationships, all of whom form a strong network of support to give the impression that the main couple of this book is never in any genuine trouble. Nonetheless, it can stand alone very well, mostly because nothing really happens here in terms of plot, and things happen slowly enough that most people can catch up quite easily.
If you have read any of the previous books in this series, and you love it, you have probably spent quite some time on Goodreads putting up animated gifs of cartoon characters with heart-shaped eyes at the notion that, in this book, finally Dr Garrett Gibson – that’s our heroine – and Ethan Ransom are going to make sweet, sweet love as the adoring members of their fan club cheer them on. And then, as the author set things up for the next book, it’s time to go back to arguing over whether the hero is going to resemble this actor or that actor.
On the bright side, this one has more of a plot that the previous book – Ransom is a former Scotland Yard guy who isn’t only loaded, awesome, dangerous, et cetera – just like every hero in this series so far – he is also some kind of spy whose latest assignment ends up spilling over into his personal life and possibly puts Garrett in danger. In other news, Garrett is a doctor who knows all about biology, and she is also an independent feminist who has no qualms of satisfying her carnal curiosity. Mind you, having her actually do that with all kinds of guys will brand her a prostitute in many readers’ eyes, sales will drop, and the author will have a less cheery Christmas this year, so no, it’s all talk on the heroine’s part. Like a good virtuous romance heroine, she has never experienced genuine desire for a man until she sees her designated true love, so see, people, even if this makes her horny and causes her to be faster than a speeding bullet, it’s okay, because she’s doing it with her true love, so all is right in the world. Oh, and she can’t imagine why he would want her because she’s so modest that she can’t see herself as desirable, blah blah blah.
But to get to that “juicy” part, I have to slough through the “things just happen” format of this story. Garrett is told that his sire left him a house and he doesn’t want it. Garrett goes around walking at night and is accosted by men bent on rape, but she takes down one before the hero takes down the other two (the author wants to show me that the heroine is awesome, but not so awesome enough to render the hero’s coming to her aid unnecessary, as it’s only romantic if the hero is needed to save the heroine). The hero berates the heroine’s instructor for not teaching her more The Matrix-style sword kung-fu. The blokes from previous books show up to talk to the hero about all kinds of things. The heroine realizes that she is experiencing desire for the first time so oh my god, she, like, needs a penis inside her ASAP now, but because she’s not a thirsty slag, she’d only do it with Ransom without wanting him to buy her expensive things. He feels that she is too good for him. He is very protective of her and follows her around so that she will never be in danger. And when danger does show up, Ransom and the blokes are always at the top of things.
In other words, the plot doesn’t matter. I get it now. Like the previous books in this series, Hello Stranger is not a story as much as it a stage on which the author’s heroes will strut and pose, acting all protective and puffed up as we readers scream in delirious excitement and wave dollar bills at them. The characters are basically cardboard cut-outs with superlatives written on Post-It notes and pasted all over these cut-outs. Any “flaw” – her contrived self-effacing nature, his tortured past – is designed to accentuate these superlatives and I, as a dutiful member of the Ravenal fan club, am meant to care more about these superlatives than the actual story that is playing out on the pages. I’m supposed to the awesome heroine, I’m supposed to want to have sex with the awesome hero, and I’m supposed to repeat the same process all over for the next book in this series.
I don’t mind all this, to be honest, as a big part of the appeal of romance novels is the escapism it offers. However, the author’s version of England is unbearably perfect and, hence, tad too tame and even boring for me. I want heroes who have genuine flaws, not fake ones designed to enhance some toothless version of “alpha male”, and as much I like that Garrett is capable at her job, she’s a bit too perfect for me to take seriously as well.
And my goodness, the writing.
“You don’t have to be poetic,” he said. “You’ve held my life in your hands. When I was near death, you were the anchor to my soul.”
What does anchor of the soul have anything to do with near death? Is he trying to say that she used her doctor ninjitsu to make sure he didn’t croak? Surely, that could have been worded better. A lot of times, especially when it comes to the romantic moments, the author seems to be throwing pretty words together without making sure that they fit together or not.And don’t get me started about supposedly rough and action-oriented men suddenly sprouting things that could have come out of some bad emo poetry, in a way that is completely at odds with their character.
Fairly or unfairly, I get the impression while reading Hello Stranger that the author is merely going through the motions and putting on a show. Still, as I’ve mentioned, there is a bit more plot than usual here, and the heroine is actually capable of taking care of herself during those moments when the hero isn’t around to hover over her, so it’s probably worth a look if there’s no better way to spend that $7.99.
