Dr. Sin Media, $2.99, ISBN 978-1370753918
Contemporary Romance, 2018

The title of Sam Baker’s Good Times brings to mind the late Sam Cooke’s song of the same name, and a big smile to my face because I love that song to bits, but the cover channels the music video of Boy Meets Girl’s Waiting for a Star to Fall.

Then my smile falters when I actually read the story.

Gabriel spends the evening with his ex, Lucas, and comes home smiling like he’s Tom finally having pulverized Jerry to pieces, at three in the morning to boot. He then wonders why his current boyfriend Maxim is mad.

Let’s see: Gabriel asked Maxim to come along with him to see Lucas, and Maxim said no because he can’t stand the smell of fish. I suppose this is where people with zero creativity will make a joke about Maxim being gay, but fortunately, I’m brimming with brainpower awesomeness. So, instead of seeing Maxim’s reluctance as a sign that maybe the current guy doesn’t want to meet the ex-guy, Gabriel happily goes off to meet his ex on a date. Alone. Until three am.

“I had fun, yes,” answers Gabriel, disbelief, and frustration creeping up his throat and mixing with his words. “And I would have probably stayed out longer if I had known what kind of treatment was waiting for me back home.”

I give this relationship two more weeks.

Fortunately, they then have sex—anal sex, as one of the tags on the product page helpfully tells potential buyers of this thing—and then all is well again.

Two weeks. One, if Gabriel posted about his dumb issues on the r/relationship_advice subreddit and actually took the advice of the nincompoops there seriously.