Harlequin Duets, $5.99, ISBN 0-373-44105-3
Contemporary Romance, 2000

In a refreshing change of pace, Darlene Gardner’s Forget Me? Not has me dozing, not really wanting to keep up. It’s about Amanda Baldwin suffering the blues after a proper, calculated love affair breaks apart just before the wedding day. Ten years down the drain – oh the pain. But a nice guy, Zach Castelli, cheers her up after overhearing her and her then to-be-ex breaking up. They end up in bed together. Oops. You know these stupid women of bad contemporary romances – one night stands are big things, next to world peace and cure for cancer as Events of Momentous Deliberation.

Hence Amanda wrings her hands and panics. Oh god, she, like, let some man do her without rubber and worse, without ten years of boring psychoanalyzing! She’s a slut! Oh no!

Zach waits for her, but Mandy is now torn. The ex drops hints that he may want her back, so she wrings her hands some more. The cheerful fun guy or the stuffy bore? What do you think? Whatever you think, Mandy doesn’t think likewise. In fact, I doubt she thinks. As she moans, worries, commiserates, and screams – “I don’t want fun! I want order! I am bored! Why is order so boring! I want fun! No, I want order! Oh, oh, oh, oh!” – I feel like dozing off. This one is romance on sedatives.