Five Star Expressions, $25.95, ISBN 0-7862-2438-X
Contemporary Romance, 2000

Fat Chance is a take on overweight heroines. Of course, Raye Franklin is only slightly overweight, but boy, does she has a case of low self-esteem. Overweight ladies, start saving for liposuction, since now you’ll never have a freaking chance. Also, this one is touted as a “1930’s screwball comedy”. In the land of hackneyed writing, this means:

• There is a crazy matchmaking elderly citizen involved, maybe two.
• Heroine with a chronic case of cluelessness,
• Big misunderstandings galore, refer to (a) to solve matters up.

Guess what? This one has all three.

Raye, fed up with fake diets, decide to embark on a latest fad, just to prove that it is a con like all the rest. Macon Winston knows that his diet program is scientific and perfect, however, and he will meet Raye’s challenge heads-on. Lots of petulant stomping, pouting, “You think I’m fat! You don’t love me because I’m fat!” (bear in mind she is only a leee-teeel overweight), and finally, here comes granny to save the day.

They are lucky they don’t meet this granny, who would undoubtedly have an arsenal of firepower waiting to be tested on willing subjects.

The trouble with Fat Chance is that the main characters are nothing more than caricatures. Predictable caricatures with all the baggage I can second-guess from get-go. The plots are thin to the point of nonexistence, relying on silly antics like making each other jealous or grannies saying dotty things to keep the tiny momentum going. It’s not fun, it’s not even funny, and I can’t help but to think that unless the authors buck up, polish up their humor, and take time to create realistic characters, fat chance I will be amused. If I want cheap laughter, there’s plenty of (free) lousy shows on TV.