Main cast: Joe Dallesandro (Julien), Anny Mirande (Inez), and Page Fletcher (The Hitchhiker)
Director: John Laing
Ooh, Joe Dallesandro’s here. He’s far more known for being gorgeous and having a super messy personal life. Casting him as a psychotic fashion designer that drives a model to suicide would have been a stroke of genius under ordinary circumstances, but The Hitchhiker, sadly, is anything but ordinary.
Wait, did I say Mr Dallesandro is gorgeous. He was… in his prime. He’s not in his prime when he’s in this episode, as all those hard drugs, partying, divorces, and who knows what else have taken a toll on his looks and mental stability. The poor guy just looks worn out, well used, and slightly puffy in the face. He’s also shiny and greasy-looking, although that could be the make-up and lighting. So, yeah, there goes the eye candy that could have made the episode bearable for me to look at.
Julien is a hot designer in Paris that isn’t too bothered when a jilted model decides to off herself shortly. After all, these models are just clothes hangers and pretty faces to him, there will be more to replace this silly tart. Well, too bad for him, because Xixu casts what seems like a spell on him before she departs the mortal coil, cursing him to never face any new faces again.
It turns out that Xixu may have deliberately killed herself, or perhaps her life is the price she willingly pays for her vengeance, because her face starts showing up in mirrors and glass panes at random moments in this episode, with her ranting and gloating to, I suppose, the audience, even as the women around Julien begin to die and the man becomes the prime suspect for these women’s suspicious deaths.
As episodes go, this one has its charms, for its low budget feel and its hilariously awful special effects, along with wooden acting all around from almost all the cast members, give Fashion Exchange a “Full Moon Productions show on a $50 budget” feel.
Also, Mr Dallesandro camps it up a bit, and in the process makes the inhuman monster character, somewhat ironically, the most human-like character here.
On the other hand, the ladies in the cast emote and speak like mannequins from that The Twilight Zone episode that have just come to life and started learning the English language just two days ago, and it’s hard to care when mannequins get offed. I do get a chuckle now and then at how awful the acting is, though!
This episode may not be good by any stretch of imagination, but at least it has a coherent plot and I am amused, even if it’s for all the wrong reasons. Compared to some of the recent episodes, I suppose I can give it get three oogies. I still won’t recommend watching this though, not without a huge dose of irony and liberal amounts of alcohol.
