Kimani, $6.50, ISBN 978-0-373-86318-1
Contemporary Romance, 2013

I read the back cover synopsis of Celeste O Norfleet’s The Thrill of You before reading the story itself, so I am thrown off-kilter on the opening page itself.

You see, the synopsis mentions the hero Mikhail Coles—action hero, business owner (successful and loaded, naturally), philanthropist, and full time bum on a yacht, and likely the possessor of the secret to doing all this crap and still have time to sleep—going to do his action hero thing and rescue heroine Cyanna Dupres’s brother.

However, the prologue sees Mikhail acting all guilt-ridden over the fact that her brother is dead. What, did Kimani accidentally print the back cover synopsis of a part one or something? Then it occurs to me that the back cover synopsis is probably referring to an event that will make up the climactic late act of the story. Therefore, either Cyanna has another brother, or the supposedly dead brother isn’t so dead after all! Whatever it is, I guess I’ve been spoiled.

Not that it matters, because the main plot of this story revolves around Cyanna wanting Mikhail to give up the nutter butter now because she’s going to ovulate soon, so she needs that goo for her next trip to the fertility clinic STAT.

I’m not American, so I’m not sure: is that how the process works over there? “I have a bottle full of man goo, someone get a doctor to knock me up now!” isn’t something that will fly in my part of the world, though, as there will be forms to fill, medical tests to go through, and perhaps some hormones to take first to boost the chances of a successful conception and implantation. Maybe that’s how it works over there?

Cyanna wants a sperm donor that will give up the juice as well as parental and visitation rights. I’d question then her decision to ask the BFF of her supposedly dead brother to be that butter nutter, as it also means that she and the brat will bump into him in the future.

Also, I can see a train wreck incoming: our heroine wants a baby because she can’t deal with her brother’s death, as if that baby would be her support animal or something.

Fortunately, once again crisis is averted when a man stops a romance heroine from ruining the life of an innocent baby-in-the-making. Mikhail wants to give up his nutter butter the fun way, and he also intends to be a father to the brat that would result from the glory glory hallelujah.

So yes, the whole save the brother thing is just a gimmick that will conveniently absolve the hero of his guilt over the brother’s “death”, as well as to make Cyanna happy again. God bless the good people that do bad things to get the hero and the heroine together.

Now, let me start by saying: forget the stupid premise. The Thrill of You is one of the more technically accomplished books in the Kimani line. I don’t know whether it was because they only hired cheap, B-team editors for the Kimani line back in the final years before that line bit the dust, but oh my god, so many of those books were riddled with stilted narrative, leaden “Let me dictate to you the Wikipedia entry for the whole life history of myself and six extraneous characters that only appear in two scenes maximum!” exposition, and horrible pacing.

This one reads just fine. The pacing is good, and the conversations feel real, like something real people may say. The various extras show up in a way that fits the whole story nicely, and they go away before they overstay their welcome. There is discernible chemistry between the hero and the heroine too.

Now, all these may seem like basic entry level qualifications for a readable story, but trust me, if you read enough Kimani stories that came out in the 2010s right until the final death croak of the line, you will understand when I say this story feels like gold because everything flows so well.

Let’s still forget the stupid premise. Now, there is one big problem with the story: the characters’ motivations and feelings jump around like popcorn on a heated stove.

In the prologue, for example, Mikhail abandons Cyanna because her brother is dead and he doesn’t want to give her more hurt so he will… hurt her by dumping her without a word. Good one. However, when he has given up the ghost and the holy juice to the church of Cyanna, he abruptly acts like he would love to be with her, have a child with her, et cetera. What made him change his mind? I don’t know. It just happens, unless I’m to assume that Cyanna’s honey pot is like a UFO—it also sucks out the man’s soul into who knows where, and the man gets an entirely new personality as a result.

It’s the same with Cyanna. One moment she doesn’t want to love, but she will do a complete 180 and whine about how she thinks Mikhail doesn’t love her in the space of a few pages. What brought about such abrupt change of feelings? Again, I don’t know.

These two characters undergo abrupt changes of motivations and feelings to suit the plot, and as a result, they never feel real to me. They are just puppets with the strings pulled by the author, and look, I can see those strings too clearly.

Okay, now let’s remember the stupid premise. Oh boy. Yes, I’m really happy that this is not another story of a heroine going to some friend’s or sister’s wedding at some tropical beach only to start humpty dumpty-ing the best man. Believe me, I am—I am not being facetious here.

However, the heroine has a terrible motivation to be a single mother, and her decision to pick someone she knows well to be the sperm donor makes no sense if she wanted that sperm donor to disappear from her life after the nutter butter popper moment. It’s a good thing that she is never allowed to go through her plan 100%, because that would only result in another poor kid that will resent their childhood. It doesn’t, however, change the fact that the author should have given the heroine a more sound reason to want to be a single mother.

So, that’s The Thrill of You in a nutshell. It’s one of the more fun to read entries in the Kimani line because of how polished the narrative is. However, I suspect that some folks will have to work a bit to overlook some clunky emotional development and an awful premise in order to really get into the story!