Main cast: Caroline Munro (Mystic Mary), Gary Martin (Randy Rocksoff), Kristofer Dayne (Melchior Haslam), John R Walker (PC James), Sara Dee (PC Hitchins), Lydie Misiek (Rose Williams), Samar Sarila (Charles Caplan), Eryl Lloyd Parry (Professor Williams), Tim Hope (Burt), Carlos Paginton (Richard Cameron), Jonathan De Hadleigh (Lord Falstaff), Lesley Scoble (Mrs Bond), Angela Holmes (Phyllis Tiller), Ethan Scott (Mike Tiller), Elle Burnham (Alexis), Rodrigo Peñalosa (Paul Fowler), Roberta Whitney (Irene Fowler), Lee Ravitz (Barry Sweetcroft), Stu Jopia (John), Liam W Ashcroft (Terry), Dani Thompson (Becca), Ricky Johnston (Mark), Benji Ming (Walter), Dan Abrams (Ernest the Alien), Steve Aaron-Sipple (Brian the Alien), and David G Robinson (Chief Inspector George Niven)
Director: Tony Jopia
The best thing about Cute Little Buggers is its title. Well, that and the idiot aliens Ernest and Brian, but that list ends there.
Yes, as the movie poster suggests, this one has bunnies that are actually killer aliens. Think the infected dog in John Carpenter’s The Thing, only less grotesque and messy because this movie operates on a much smaller budget. The bunnies are the handiwork of bumbling alien clods Brian and Ernest. They hover outside of Earth’s atmosphere, delighted that the compatibility between their species’ DNA and that of humans means that they can repopulate their dying race on human women.
Instead of some weird sex comedy involving fish-like aliens and human women, however, this movie is what it is because for some reason, the aliens’ plan for re-population involves sending what seems like an entirely different type of alien down to the area around the English small town Deddington. These aliens take on the form of a bunny because it’s the first animal they come across, although the moment they come across humans, the bunny face erupts to reveal a fanged alien maw and killer tentacles of doom. Wait, are these things supposed to boink or kill humans again? Maybe they got the wrong memo from Brian and Ernest.
Now, on paper this movie sounds like a joyous killing spree, but in reality, the monster killings feel more like an afterthought. Far too much of this movie revolves around tedious, unfunny antics of a bunch of folks that hinge on context-free over the top mannerisms to draw out the laughs. There is also a boring subplot about some bloke that comes back to settle things with his estranged father and reunite with his teenage girlfriend. It’s like this movie were originally done as some mundane comedy, and then the people behind it decided to smack in some monster scenes here and there to get some sucker to buy the film for distribution.
What little focus on the monsters follows a familiar trajectory: the lone sane police constable wants to call in help, but the Chief Inspector refuses his request because a local fete is taking place soon and we can’t scare away the tourists. The CGI is atrocious, but that’s to be expected given how this movie clearly has a shoestring budget. Now that I think about it, no matter how bad the CGI is, it is still more convincing than the acting of the bulk of the cast, because that is what I’d call a bad impersonation of a human being.
The only mildly amusing moments come from the two fellows that play Ernest and Brian, but that’s due to their delivery and hammy antics rather than the actual lines they are delivering. Seriously, there are four people with screenwriter credits here, and there is hardly any decent comedy in what is supposed to be a comedic horror film. Surely there are cheaper hacks with better sense of humor and comedic timing that they could have dragged into the fold!
I know this movie is part of what seems like an ongoing effort to establish the UK counterpart to The Asylum business model, but come on, the whole thing is just dreary and boring because of the disproportionately large focus on the antics of dull and bland human characters. Cute Little Buggers this one ain’t, not even a little.
