Main cast: Dominique Jackson (Bloody Mary), Quvenzhané Wallis (Bianca), Raven Scott (Elise), Kyla Drew (Maggie), Kyanna Simone (Lena Lawrence), Shane Callahan (The Historian), Ryan D Madison (Anna), and Tiffany Yvonne Cox (Miss Brooks)
Director: SJ Main Muñoz
On paper, Blood Mary is a fantastic concept: we normally associates Bloody Mary with some historical figure from Europe, like Mary I or the countess Elizabeth Bathory, but this episode ties the urban legend to the faith and magic that were brought to America by African slaves.
That Bloody Mary herself is played by the gorgeous Dominique Jackson is a given, given her connection to Ryan Murphy and friends, but still, that would have worked beautifully.
Sadly, one can always rely on these people to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Anyway, the story first. In this one, Blood Mary will appear in the mirror when one says her name three times. She may predict the future and tell the summoner how to achieve their heart’s greatest, desire if she liked that summoner, or she might just scratch the fellow’s eyes out with her gorgeously ornate long fingernails.
Three friends—Lena Lawrence, Maggie, Elise—and Elise’s younger sister Bianca are hanging out one evening at Lena’s place when Lena tells them of Bloody Mary. They all end up summoning the legendary lady herself on their own, and learn that her ways of helping them achieve their heart’s desire will ruin other people, perhaps even physically harming them.
However, a deal is a deal, and now Bloody Mary insists that they carry out what she told them to, or she’d scratch their eyes out. Uh-oh…
Yes, uh-oh is right, because this is one bloody boring episode.
Firstly, it seems like all the dialogues in this episode are scraped from Twitter and Reddit, from people that try the hardest to appear witty, because nobody here speaks like normal people. Every line is infused with self-aware “Look! Look! This is us trying to sound so witty and cosmopolitan!” realness that can only work if this had been a wacky sitcom. Alas, it’s not, so the entire episode feels like it had been scripted by bitter failed sitcom writers that couldn’t change their ways to adapt to a new genre.
The main characters feel more like one-note plot devices played by actors that either can’t or probably feel that they aren’t paid enough to act in a manner that bears any resemblance to human beings. Hence, it’s hard to care about any of them.
The biggest and most spectacular failure of this episode is Bloody Mary. She is a complete waste of time, as all she does here is to show up for jump scares and camp it up like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, when she’s not delivering impotent threats in a way that is more comical than funny. It’s not like she is good in any other capacity either, as in the end she feels like a half-baked wannabe of a villain.
Oh, I suppose one can argue that the true villain here is human, blah blah blah, but that one is basically pulled out of the collective rear ends of the people behind this episode, so eh, whatever.
In the end, this is one episode completely sank by a script that is far more interested in creating scenes that can be used for memes in social media, for people to go “YAAAS, KWEEEN, SLAAAAYYYY!” because they are content to be entertained by the sight of Dominique Jackson in her Bloody Mary outfit.
Plot coherence? Good acting? Who cares. Perhaps the most frightening thing about this episode is that the intended crowd seems to lapping it up like crazy!
