Main cast: Aaron Himelstein (Rookie), Carlos Alazraqui (Sui), Jill Talley (Kali), Brian Bloom (Hawk), and Chris Cox (Bob)
Director: Vitaliy Shushko

Meet four cyborgs or whatever they are: Hawk the leader, Kali the token chick, Hawk the lunatic, and the rookie, er, Rookie. Guided by Bob, who does the whole “I’ll check the whereabouts on my computer and tell you what dangers to look out for” stuff.

Their job is to rob a microchip heavily guarded by a convoy of robots and laser turrets and what looks an Autobot. As the convoy enters a tunnel, its defenses are in a Blindspot, so the four have to complete their job before the convoy leaves the tunnel.

Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong, starting from Bob being an idiot, Hawk entrusting the psycho and the rookie on an important job, the psycho going Leeroy Jenkins, and… oh boy.

It’s all fun and games seeing tin cans wiping out one another, until the episode reaches its end and there are two things that act like knives that stick into my craw.

Rookie doesn’t do jack squat, so why the hell is everyone acting like he has done something amazing? I watch this episode twice, to see whether I missed out earlier on the possibility that Rookie’s job is to act as a decoy to distract the defenses of the convoy, but no. This episode seems to treat cowering and gaping uselessly as some kind of amazing deed.

Also, the ending brutally robs me of any emotional investment I may have with the four cyborg-things, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter what these four do, because fail or succeed, it doesn’t matter as there is no accountability or loss to be had.

So what exactly is this thing trying to do?

Is it trying to be a test pilot episode to get Netflix to pick up a whole series? If that were the case, all the cyborg-things here and Bob are idiots and I have zero interest in a deluxe-sized showcase of their stupidity, so I’ll pass.

Is it an episode about heroism? Sorry, there is no microscope that I can buy that will allow me to detect any hint of heroism here.

The best way to watch this one is to just go straight for the scenes of tin can carnage, and then stop and watch something else.