Jive
Pop, 2000

The most successful Cheiron House worker ants – okay, it’s either they or NSYNC – are back! Black & Blue is their fourth album, and my, they have made great progress! In terms of looks, that is.

The lads have come a long way indeed. Nowadays they are tough. Kevin Richardson admits to erm, flying solo in hotel rooms when he can’t get a date, but Nick Carter’s the best in flying solo. The latter, incidentally, must have stuck his head in a blender to that Edward-Scissorhands-does-gay-twink look. AJ McLean loses more hair and gets more tattoos, Howie Dorough looks more and more oily and smarmy, and Brian Littrell… well, he’s still as boring as ever.

I’m talking about their looks because musically, they are still in the schoolroom, never actually progressing from the Michael Jackson-riff-ripped-off sound typical of Max Martin and his Cheiron House productions. The best track, Shape of My Heart, is a pale clone of I Want It That Way not worth a second listen. Even their self-penned tune, The Answer to Our Life, ends up sounding like a Gorgio Moroder-on-speed tune.

There are some nice moments in B&B – a chorus here, a riff there, but taken as a whole, this album is as dull as its CD art suggests. They might as well stamp STRICTLY FOR FANS on the cover and be done with it.