Main cast: Martin Lawrence (Detective Marcus Burnett), Will Smith (Detective Mike Lowrey), Jordi Mollà (Hector Juan Carlos Tapia), Gabrielle Union (Sydney Burnett), Peter Stormare (Alexei), Theresa Randle (Theresa Burnett), Joe Pantoliano (Captain Howard), and Henry Rollins (TNT Leader)
Director: Michael Bay

Okay, confession time: I love the original Bad Boys movie. That movie kicked ass while being funny, and it had plenty of fun one-liners from Martin Lawrence and Will Smith. Bad Boys II, however, has plenty of one-liners but no plot, no funny, and a complete rehash of the original movie, only with ten times more soulless explosions.

This time around, Mr Lawrence and Mr Smith reprise their roles as polar opposite cop buddies. After a KKK bust, Marcus decides that he wants a transfer to a less adventurous precinct, but he doesn’t know how to tell Mike. Mike is involved with Syd, Marcus’s DEA sister, or at least more involved than he is with his therapist anyway, and he doesn’t know how to tell Marcus. Because they’re both secretly in love with each other. Meanwhile, they also have to bust some drug kingpin out of business, and then it’s kaboom kaboom kaboom until my brain is a puddle of dead cell gravy oozing out of my nostrils.

The chemistry is not there anymore. The two male leads don’t play off each other anymore – the whole movie is hijacked by pyrotechnics and special effects that ruin all semblance of humanity from the characters. While Bad Boys has its share of explosions, at least the characters are funny and they are the story. Here, the characters are just another part of the scenery.

Overloaded with violence, drug taking, partial nudity (female, of course – bah), and utter senselessness, Bad Boys II is truly the epitome of brain-damage movies flooding the summer box office. It’s only because Michael Bay had a bigger turkey in his resume that spares him from being completely humiliated by this movie. Although, he’s been down that route before, so it’s not exactly a thing to be glad of.