Zebra, $5.99, ISBN 0-8217-7067-5
Historical Romance, 2001
Oh, poor Asking for Trouble. It caught me on a really bad time. See, I’m not in the frame of mind for “All women are bitches, useless bitches, and I will be doggone damned if I don’t do everything in my power to prove that I am right about what useless bitches all women are!” heroes. Therefore I’m not in a very receptive mood to Asking for Trouble and its hero Nick Colter. No thanks, Marlboro Mule, I have a headache. Come back next century.
It is really too bad because Molboro Mule aside, this book is pretty good. Then again, what good is a romance story when the hero is a mule? Hmm.
Jamie Donovan is a heroine who is in financial trouble. See, she inherited the Circle D Ranch from her father, and while she can be as good as any man, the ranchers in her father’s employ desert her in droves. Men don’t work for women, you know, women work under them, uh huh.
Anyway, now Jamie is betting all she has on this cattle drive. She has to get a herd all the way to Montana from Texas in under five months. It’s a daunting task, but she is sure that Nick Colter, the best hand in the biz, will help her do the impossible.
Nick, however, has issues. See, all women are bitches. Like his ex, you know, who uses her feminine wiles on clumsy, stupid dolts like him to achieve her ambitions. It’s not his stupidity to be led by his Marlboro, it’s the women who are sluts and bitches, yeah. And women who are smart enough to lead morons like him on are also dumb useless wenches, in this hero’s convoluted logic, so he will do all he can to cut down Jamie’s ego, undermine her authority, and generally drive her away, this even after she agrees to sleep with him in return for his services – sex on delivery of course. Or SOD to you. So SOD off, Nick.
But Nick doesn’t get it. See, to him, women are morons who use their sex to lead innocent, pure men like him to their doom. If Jamie does a lot of stupid things in this story, it’s because he pretty much goads her to it. But why would she want a man who think so lowly of her sex anyway? I don’t know. Much be a hormone thing.
I just don’t like Nick. No, scratch that. I would like to clobber the man with a rolling pin. Besides, I bet he doesn’t bathe much anyway.
Anyway, moving on. Bye bye Nick. Don’t let the dynamite get your sorry ass on your way out.