MIRA, $5.99, ISBN 0-373-83479-9
Historical Romance, 2001 (Reissue)
A Season for Scandal is actually an omnibus reissue edition of Stephanie Laurens’s old regency stuff Tangled Reins (first published in 1992) and Fair Juno (first published in 1994). All you Cynster fans who can’t get enough, stop reading now and make a dash for the bookstores, because trust me, it’s much more fun than reading what I have to say next. It won’t be pretty, really. This double combo is everything Cynster to the freaking tee and as an added bonus, every whomping cliché about dotty grandmothers, stupid rakes, hellion and brain-free bluestocking heroines, and every stupid double standard lauded and appraised as “accurate” in the genre is added lovingly. You can’t get more deliciously formulaic than this.
Tangled Reins has our heroine Dorothea Darent (prettier younger sister, eccentric rich granny sponsoring the two sisters, prefers foraging in the wilderness to womanly stuff, doesn’t want to marry, no libido, busybody and pompous village rector and wife harping on her, et farking cetera) kissed by rake the Marquis of Hazelmere (rake, rake, rake) when he mistakes her for the blacksmith’s daughter.
Naturally, he is aghast. He scolds her – what the heck is she, alone, a noble lady, doing here in the wilderness? Doesn’t she know that there are perverts around?
Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot.
And don’t bet money on Dorothea not saying she doesn’t care because she is a woman of advanced age and hence no man cares for her, she isn’t pretty, et cetera. You’ll lose.
They part, Dotty Thea goes to London, does stupid things that requires Hazelmere to come to her rescue, and all the while she shrieks that she is Bluestocking, she doesn’t need help, thank you very much. Then she leaves her door unlocked for every pervert to maul her. “There are perverts around waiting to maul you!” Hazelmere scolds her, then proceeds to maul her on the spot.
Pot, kettle. Kettle, pot.
“Kiss you!”
“Oh! Oh! Oh!”
“Marry you!”
“No! No! No!”
“Kiss you!”
“Oh! Oh! Oh!”
“Marry you!”
“No! No! No!”
“Kiss you! Save you from evil man! Marry you!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Mahir found his girlfriend at last. I’m so happy. On to the next story.
Fair Juno has the newly instated Earl of Merton (rake, rake, rake – oh, and war hero) mad as hell. He has been summoned home from the lusty paradise of Bahamas where he has been boinking a luscious mistress silly. Even worse, his mother (shrew, hag, money and marriage-minded) has arranged for him to marry Faith Wendover. But after he rescues Helen Walford (celibate widow, doesn’t want to marry, unwanted grubby suitor) from being kidnapped by said suitor, he’s in love. Because, I’m told, Fate has finally decided to rein him in.
Fate? Hmmm, where have I encountered that Fate thingie before? How sin-cynster!
He immediately forgets about his mistress whom he has been whining about like a spoiled petulant brat. Women who like sex and know how to sex it up = evil, unworthy sluts. Everyone knows, you shag those cheap ho’s, but you marry the high-priced, hard-to-get classy “pure” ones. Yeah!
“Kiss you!”
“Oh! Oh! Oh!”
“Marry you!”
“No! No! No!”
“Kiss you!”
“Oh! Oh! Oh!”
“Marry you!”
“No! No! No!”
“Kiss you! Save you from evil man! Marry you!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Gee, I am so excited.
