LoveSpell, $5.99, ISBN 0-505-52402-3
Contemporary Romance, 2000

Oh boy, contemporary comedy ahead, and by the looks of it, this one, A Perfect Fit, shows no sign for being any different from the zillion wannabes out there. I think sometime during our inept heroine Brooke Welch’s attempt to kidnap Alex Bradshaw (the wrong guy, naturally), she must have tried to make a long leap and her brain must have sort of tumbled out of her without anyone noticing it.

She’s kidnapping the man she thought impregnated her sister. Not really – Alex would rather impregnate the older sister Brooke, and besides, since he’s in need of some R&R, what better way than to watch a silly buffoon of a crybaby, overworked, martyrdom-prone woman stumble, right? No wait, this is a romance, so naturally he will feel protective over her too, and it’s love.

Needless to say, if Brooke’s in need of a huge cash influx (don’t we all, dear), Alex is actually the very wealthy owner of the condom factory the heroine works at. But our bumblebee heroine doesn’t know that. Come to think of it, she doesn’t know anything until anything smacks her in the eye and says hello.

Alex is a decent, if predictable one-dimensional handsome tycoon hero who is three parts bemused and one part horny. Brooke is continuously flustered, flummoxed, flabbergasted, drawn, and quartered by Alex – some authors and readers actually find this sort of “witty repartee” funny, but I think it just shows that the heroine needs to get a clue and a wit ASAP. The relationship is more akin to she-needs-him-to-keep-her-out-of-trouble sort, with the obligatory “Awww, your past is so sad!” yammering (right before the heavy petting) for “emotional depths”.

I need a really strong drink.