Scarsdale Publishing, $0.99, ISBN 979-8201030230
Historical Romance, 2022
Liza Milton spends all her waking hours gazing out her window for a glimpse of the handsome Lord Thomas, who dabbles in astronomy to show everyone how smart he is.
You see, our heroine had been kissed by him once, when he was drunk and grieving over his late wife.
While she’s certain that he won’t recall ever kissing her, it’s the best toe-curling thing she has ever experienced. Drunkards make the best snog, after all. Alcohol breath is such a potent aphrodisiac!
Since then, she’s been stalking him, hoping to see him, and perhaps just waiting until she one day snaps and kidnaps him down to the basement for her to skin his face and wear it over hers.
Sadly, her mother is going to start dragging her to ballrooms to find her some bloke to marry. Liza doesn’t want any man! She only wants John Thomas’s love in the most chaste so-not-touching-herself manner!
Sure, it’s her fourth season, but like all the other heroines in Summer Hanford’s A Lord’s Kiss series, the heroine of A Lord’s Dream is determined to be a financial burden on her family for the rest of her life if the man of her dreams somehow couldn’t read her mind and make the move to offer her his love on a silver platter.
So, by the last chapter, after Lisa spends all her time moping about how her dream man isn’t making a move when she’s not simpering and engaging in banal conversations with Thomas, the bloke suddenly announces that he loves her and it’s the end.
Wait, what? How did that happen? Does she have a prodigious bosom that arouses Thomas’s pure and pristine affection for her? Is he sneakily after her money? Why does she love him anyway, aside from the fact that he’s handsome and he kissed her when he was drunk?
There are so many important questions here that are not answered, making this an utterly pointless story that fails to resemble a romantic story by any stretch of the imagination. Even the kiss that launched Lisa into creepy-stalker puberty took place prior to this story!
In fact, the whole thing feels like three chapters of a much longer story somehow glued together to the final chapter, and who knows what has happened to all the other chapters.
What’s the point of this thing? It serves zero purpose and has no reason to exist. Well, except to give the author $0.99, I guess, but come on, this is absurd.
