Main cast: Anna Camp (Irena Reid), Adam Pally (Robert Weston), Pete Burris (Scott Howard), Frank Nicotero (Andy McDermott), Derek Russo (Ryan), Candy McLellan (Phyllis Allenbee), and Tom Glynn (Kringle)
Director: Greg Nicotero
Somehow, the folks behind Creepshow believe that everyone needs A Creepshow Holiday Special, because the coof isn’t making everyone miserable enough. Fortunately, this special does a better job at ripping off better source materials than most other episodes of this show, so I guess it’s time to be charitable and give this one a standing ovation for meeting the bare minimum to justify its existence.
The segment that makes up the entire episode is called Shapeshifters Anonymous.
Robert Weston—tic-ridden, unkempt, et cetera because screenwriter and director Mr Nicotero still believes it’s still 2010 and fake nerds that speak like tweets from a social media are still sex symbols—think he’s the werewolf from An American Werewolf in London, turning into a wolf and killing people without him realizing it. He joins Shapeshifters Anonymous, hoping to learn of a way to curb his murderous tendencies, and meets a bunch of fellow were-scallywags include Irena (the Not Like Other Girls and Manie Pixie Girl tropes combined into one annoying mess), the lecherous Andy, former Marine Scott who is self conscious about being a were-tortoise, the mysteriously silent Ryan, and the furry Phyllis who is human but insists that she identifies as a hippopotamus. The holiday season, they are soon laid siege by the armies of Santa, actually a rogue agent of God that was charged to kill all therianthropes. Santa later defected to Satan’s side, but he still is determined to carry out mission and eliminate Bob, the boss of all therianthropes.
This one is so predictable that it’s almost hilarious for that reason alone. Who didn’t see it coming, that the silent guy turns out to be Bob that emerges at the last minute for a dramatic revelation? Or, the furry that everyone sort of pities ends up saving the day? These and many other predictable elements in this episode has me wondering whether the folks involved in this one are even trying. Maybe they wanted a break as Christmas came around, but they were forced to film this episode nonetheless? At any rate, this one is devoid of any surprises that it feels more like a recreation than any episode in its own right.
It’s a shame, because the premise of Santa versus Bob could have been a brilliant one if it had been developed better. Here, it’s just an excuse to throw rejects from the movie Cats against bad special effects wrapped up in Santa costumes.
Shapeshifters Anonymous also wants to be a comedy, which is not a good thing because the worst parts of this show had been the “comedic” segments. The people behind this show seem to believe that “comedy” is imitating bad lines in teen sitcoms and posts on social media from adults pretending to be kids. Really, the script of this episode seems to have been done by some AI that mastered human behavior and language from downloading the entire content of TV Tropes, and no, that is not a compliment because the awfulness of the conversations in this episode is done in a non-ironic manner. As a result, I find myself cringing more than laughing during the entire episode. Okay, that’s not entirely accurate, as I don’t even laugh once.
On the bright side, Derek Russo takes off his shirt and his pants hang pretty low, so… yay, I guess. Then again, there are pics of him completely naked to be found online, thanks to Mr Russo’s past career as an, uh, erotic model, so one is better off looking at those pics instead of this show if one is into that kind of thing. That’s Creepshow in a nutshell, though: even when it’s good, there’s always something similar but better out there.
