Main cast: Keesha Sharp (Captain Celeste Rhoades), Lydia Hearst (Idina Bess), Joseph Gatt (Brian Andrews), Jamie Bamber (Professor Hal Cochran), and AnnaLynne McCord (Mia Stone)
Director: Nick Lyon
Picture this: they have build a replica of you-know-that, called Titanic III, and this ship will go visit the very location where you-know-what sank for its first ever ocean voyage. I suppose it could be worse, they could have gotten Tubi and The Asylum to make Titanic 666… oh, wait.
Still, who would want to tempt fate by getting onboard that ship? Oh, right, every influencer out that, I forgot it’s a brand new world out there now.
These influencers include Jackson and Mia Stone. I don’t know if it’s intentional, but Jackson reminds me a lot of a very popular but annoying YouTube channel host in terms of looks and annoying facial and physical tics, only more manly, believe it or not. Oh well, the actor’s name is not in the main credit, so he’s probably a goner soon.
Captain Celeste Rhoades is the person in charge of those two and the rest of the passengers, many of whom have dressed up in period clothes so that they can appear more like the passengers on the original RMS Titanic. She introduces her crew to Brian Andrews, who’s here to provide “additional security”, much to be bewilderment of the present security staff.
Oh, and there’s the stowaway Idina Bess, who is the usual sticky-fingered, itchy-fingered character that every movie like this needs to have. She claims that her great-grandmother was a passenger on the original iceberg-smasher.
Rounding off the people that matter is Professor Hal Cochran, the historian whose RMS Titanic-related props and artifacts are on display on this ship.
Sigh, I have to endure 30 minutes of annoying people being annoying, until Idina summons forth the CGI ghosts of the passengers and crew of RMS Titanic. Then the fun begins.
Okay, maybe it’s not so fun, because the CGI is pretty dire, and the ghosts don’t really do anything other than to stand and pose like they are rejects from some The Conjuring rip-off. The movie tries to deliver the scares via sound effects, but unfortunately this means abrupt and very loud screechy and squeaking sounds that can be super punishing on people that have the volume turned high.
All in all, there just aren’t much scares to be had, just plenty of annoying characters doing stupid things for too much of this movie.
Still, I give them props for at least trying with the ship and the sinking scenes. Those don’t look halfway bad. I suppose it’s pretty obvious now where most of the money went, as the CGI of the ghosts are just plain dreadful to behold!
Anyway, there’s really no reason to watch this forgettable, scare-free waste of time unless one is really, really bored. Just let it sink already.
