Main cast: Deanna Russo (Mary), John Redlinger (Max), Emil Johnsen (The Ice Cream Man), Hilary Barraford (Jessica), Jeff Daniel Phillips (The Delivery Man), Lisa Ann Walter (Christina), Sam Schweikert (Nick), Bailey Anne Borders (Tracy), Dan Sutter (Frank), Dana Gaier (Brie), Declan Michael Laird (Joe), LaTeace Towns-Cuellar (Katie), and Miles Johnston (Wil)
Director: Megan Freels Johnston
Mary’s husband relocates back to her hometown, and she is currently back here alone, overseeing the moving in while her husband stays behind in Seattle to take care of the kids (the kids still have a week of school left). This leaves her with plenty of time to mull things over, stare blankly at the camera (it’s in to have close-ups of the actors’ faces, you know, even if these close-ups don’t serve any purpose, especially when the folks getting the close-ups are just looking dead-eyed while speaking in a monotone), and suspect that the local ice cream man is responsible for the deaths of her new neighbors. Maybe this silly woman had seen The Ice Cream Man maybe one time too many for her own good.
In fact, the only way this film would have worked if it turned out that Mary is actually a robot sent down here from another planet, because Deanna Russo has such a monotone and act in a way which suggests that her character is perhaps human in appearance only. Mary has an awkward, uncomfortable way of speaking and behaving that screams “Look at me, Ma, I am acting!” It doesn’t help that the script, also by Megan Freels Johnston, is loaded with clunky dialogues that serve as thinly-veiled exposition dump especially in the first third or so. Mary is attracted to Max, a high school kid who has recently graduated, but their dialogues and scenes resemble a clunky, cheesy pornographic segment with a bulk of the fun parts cut out. And really, why cast John Redlinger in that role? He’s cute and has a nice body, but he makes Max look like the kid had spent ten years trying to finish high school.
The pay-off of The Ice Cream Truck can be controversial in that some people may find it clever, others may find that it makes the whole movie a waste of time. Me, I am on the fence. I like the concept behind this movie, and I have to admit that quick sex scene is kinda hot, heh. But the action only really heats up in the late third or so, and even then, Emil Johnsen’s ice cream man resembles more of a dork than a terrifying menace. The biggest problem here, though, is that the cardboard quality acting, the cringe-machine of a script, and glacial pacing all come together to make this movie a test of one’s patience.
For a better horror movie featuring ice cream men gone amok, go watch The Ice Cream Man. I suppose seeing a shirtless Mr Redlinger may be a valid excuse to sit through this plodding bore, but come on, he looks like he’s four feet tall on a good day and I’m sure there are other things in which he takes off his top. The Ice Cream Truck is just a flavorless affair.
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Cantankerous muffin who loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, chocolates, and fantastical stories.