Main cast: Dana Drori (Tara Parrish), Casey Deidrick (Sam Anselm), Evan Williams (Grant), and Kasey Elise (Esther)
Director: Clara Aranovich
Tentacles belongs to that trashy genre of horror that combines Lifetime hallmark thriller-isms with decided un-Lifetime adult situations (foul words, sex, nudity, etc), and some splattering of tentacles and body horror because—shocker—the stranger that gives such good sexy times turns out to be a crazy octopus. There are variations of this theme, of course, but they always revolve around sex.
Right away, it’s pretty obvious something is off with Tara Parrish. This episode beats me with this from the opening scene onward. She is new in town, looking like she’s just mastered the art of impersonating a human being just a few days prior. She needs a place to stay, so she quickly hones in on angst-heavy photographer Sam Anselm. They quickly get down to business, and she soon says and does the right things that have him convinced that she is the first person to ever connect with him on a fundamental, emotional level and he wants them to be together forever.
Then, a stalker from her past shows up. Then, Sam starts experiencing painful tinnitus. Then, really weird things happen.
For almost two-third of its screen time, this one could have been any Lifetime thriller. Well, except for the sex thing, which this one has quite a bit, although the only time one gets to see all of Dana Drori is in a decidedly not sexy scene, heh. A lot of time is spent on Tara and Sam getting down, going all your feelings and my feelings ooh, making a home together—it’s all too perfect and something bad is going to happen, obviously, and also, the entire thing feels unnecessary. They could have just compressed all this into, say, 15 minutes of the running time instead of dragging out for so long.
Sure, one can argue that it’s to establish the connection between Tara and Sam, and I have to say: the two lead actors are definitely good looking enough to keep the scenery looking nice, so to speak. However, come on, the episode is called Tentacles, the poster establishes that Tara is not human, and that Sam is going to be pegged in ways that will not make him happy. The episode is already spoiled five minutes in by the people behind the show, and what is left is to figure out what exactly is Tara going to do with Sam. Even then, it should be obvious to folks familiar with this genre: it all boils down to either propagation or survival, and either way, the thing that is Tara needs to boink her victims to achieve that goal.
When things do get interesting, the episode is rolling down towards the finish line already, so the party is over when it’s barely heating up. Even then, the tentacles resemble amateur hour CGI, and the proceedings will feel very familiar and even overdone to folks that know the tropes already.
Still, there are some interesting ideas in the here, and the two lead actors have the good looks and chemistry to make a believable sizzling poster couple for interplanetary sexy times.
However, Tentacles still suffers from common Into the Dark problems: too many filler moments, lots of polish but not enough intriguing or unique selling points that establish its own identity, and never really go all out to bring on the horror. It’s easily one of the, shall we say, better episodes, but given how the rest of series is, that’s not really saying much.
